timshel

At 11 in the morning Cam is fast asleep. (shouting through the door) Me: Cam?!? Cam:...nhhhn...What? Me: Osama bin Laden's dead. (pause) Cam: Fuck off I don't believe you ( goes back to sleep)

My Friend Cam • Opuss № I

Seeing your Opuss profile slide down the ranks is like watching an intimate and treasured long term relationship slowly break down. Only worse.

Slippery Slope • Opuss № I

Cam's 7 yr old Cousin: Caaaam? Cam: Yeah? Cams cousin: Do you have a girlfriend? Cam: er no I don't mate, no Cams cousin: I do (smugly smiles and leaves) Cam: ( Watches him leave, narrows his eyes then whispers) ...fuck you, I'm taller…

My Friend Cam • Opuss № I

Cam: Can you please not post quotes of me on your strange little app? Or at least change my name and give me a pseudonym ...oh oh! Or give me a porn name! Me: Yeah, of course. Lance Blitzstein: Thanks mate.

My Friend Cam • Opuss № I

When discussing what animals we would be for a day. Me: You'd have to be something with thumbs, you know, so you could still play Xbox. Cam: (confidently) Nah I'd be an eagle..................(eyes widen)......... with thumbs.

My Friend Cam • Opuss № I

Me: I heard they used to call brothels claptraps Cam: (shocked) really? Me: (bemused) yeah, really. Cam: Ruffles? The crisps?

My Friend Cam • Opuss № I

No•3 Me: I heard a guy married a dog once Everyone: (sounds of disgust) (pause) Cam:...was it a female dog? Me: ...what? Cam: was it a female dog? Me: does it make it better or worse if a human married a female dog? Cam: ...better....obviou…

My Friend Cam • Opuss № I

No•2 When discussing which religion will eventually rule the world. Me: what religion is Singapore? Cam: I'm pretty certain it's chineese.

My Friend Cam • Opuss № I

No •1 After a heavy night out. Cam: ...huh (as though he just realised something). Me: What? Cam: My veins hurt.

My Friend Cam • Opuss № I

I have collected quotes from my housemate. His name is Cam. He's not as stupid as he sounds. Most of the time anyway. Enjoy!

My Friend Cam • Opuss № I

I was struck today by the most profound sense of sadness. Just as I finished the last transfers of music and movies from my old computer to my new one it hit me. I paused, finger on the power button, as I stared at the little desktop comput…

Old Friend • Opuss № I

Humans are dumb and they die easy. - Bender

A Wise Robot • Opuss № I

Life is funny. Not ha ha funny. Peculiar I guess. - Mr E

3 Speed • Opuss № I

Hate those who hate, And you'll have hate on your plate. Share love and you'll feel, Filled with love every meal. And then you'll never wish For a tastier dish. Nom a nom nom

The Tastiest Dish • Opuss № I

Rather than have a fear filled past, or regretful future, be brave today. You owe it to your past and present selves.

Take A Leap • Opuss № I

The doctor turned back to his patient, his office chair groaning under his shifting weight. ' I should think 20 cc's ought to perk you up and get you back in the fight' He mumbled, as he handed the ' R and R' permission slip to the patient…

Daydreamers • Opuss № I

Tired when you wake up. Awake when you need to sleep. Blinking through the dryness of your eyes and your aching head, for the slim chance of a hope; that a night without rest will mean tomorrow won't come. But it does. And when you wake you…

Opuss № I

I'm no biologist, but I know the heart has strings. Some get played. Some get broken. And some are just in tune with each other.

Anatomy Of Love • Opuss № I

Who actually says the word 'Gizmo' anymore? I think it was killed by the word 'App'. RIP Gizmo.

Gizmo, A Eulogy. • Opuss № I

Empty places are the ones most full of memories.

Nostalgia • Opuss № I