30 October 2012

Hi , this is a poem I wrote in class, can I have some feedback on how to improve it? Thanks :)

You are Fire to me Hot and powerful and protective.

You are Time to me Precious and optimistic and comforting.

You are Shining stars to me Never ending and holding out until the end.

You are The rain's ocean to me The towering tree's oxygen to me The sun's gas/the battering rain Touching your face, replenishing replenishing

Go, follow your dreams, you say.

Thanks :)

toriaelizabethPraise Poem • Opuss № I