12 May 2012
I've always liked the shock factor due to my actions and seeing how far boundaries could be pushed. A society I felt alienated against.The hypocritical teachers, and bullies for peers, people trying to control your mind and make sense off your actions. And judging you for mistakes, and giving you labels to keep tags on you. No!! As a two faced society, let me show you my world and how I understand the truth. I am uneducated never finishing school without the label off a GCSE. A society that I think we can all agree on is well fucked up! Yet you all follow it with mind boggling abideniance. I'm 36 and spent 15 years off my life in Prison, recently released from a high secure hospital registered disabled and comfortably living on state benefits. Here here I hear you scream, are you green with envy? Or jealous of my wily ways! I occasionally use soft drugs, cause I want too. I still occasionally dabble in minor crime, cause I want too. Society as nature will con and victimise the weak. With prophetic words of wisdom like doing an honest days work (for a pittance) while say a footballer earns what he does while my mother couldn't afford to clothe her child. Yeah what great morals you have. So I fought, yes I fought the system and I fuckin won. You want to outcast me and be judgemental and be in the broken society you are part off. Lie down because you are told too do so? Jump and you say how high, and you will all be kidding yourselves and believing the lies that you are fed. Divide & conquer! I have suffered the worst that society can throw at me. Yeah I could off curled up at times & wanting too die. Spending years in segregation in prison when only a teenager. Being beaten and spat on by grown men who now in turn fear me. Prison guards who are not fit to run a hot tap, then running a wing. I ran my wings. I dictated my needs, I manipulated better then the people who were trying to manipulate me. I get what I want because I want it. I could make your life a living hell if you got in my way. I'm the only person in the country who the police had to get an injunction out against. Which stated I could not enter a certain radious around the police station. Which I did. When I was in early twenties and found that saying certain things stopped the police brutality beating against me, i told them i had hep c, Or find ways out of the police cells quicker then you could blink an eye. Forcing their will to my needs and calling the shots. Oh yeah. I wouldn't consider my self a violent man, yet I was considered one off the most dangerous off people. Would I mindlessly just go out and hurt someone, then NO! Would I be willing to go out and hurt someone, then yes. I've purposefully turned my back knowingly I was to be attacked and on that occasion I was stabbed several times. War wounds, to which I won! So violence does not fear me, prison didn't fear me. Calling me names don't hurt me, so my weakness is not so easy to find. Honesty in people is rare. Where I find myself to be honest more than most. Turning the tides off most efforts in my favour. My weaknesses forming a strength, a bond off a one man army. Taking on the biggest and best and surviving most. Learning in ways that most fear. Yet am considered an outcast, an undesirable, labels and names. Say from a judge not fit too judge, or from a police man to unfit too uphold the law. What lesson shall I learn from that? Greatest lessons learnt and off been the most beneficial too all, is when been shown empathy, kindness and understanding. From a person no different from me. No better and no worse. Each who read this has known someone who has been to prison. We have all committed a so called crime or crimes, my dream when I was younger was to visit every prison in England and write a "good prison guide" sadly after about 44 different prisons I've become retired. Out off every negative there is a positive, in every evil deed, goodness will shine. I say "walk a mile in my shoes, then you may judge" but funnily none of you could. Yet I could do it vice versa! A man who defends himself has a fool for a client, was once stated when to me by my solicitor who advised me not to take on an appeal. I continued on my own accord & won. To her utter amazement. Right decisions, wrong decisions my decisions. Solicitors who receive legal aid payments earn the same amount if you pleaded guilty and was dealt with fairly quickly, or went too trial which takes months. What would I do? Get you too plead guilty off course. I've stood in the dock with 15 or so charges, looking at double figures, each charge I was guilty off, yet I saw through there temptations and manipulations and each court appearance I was being offered deals and charges dropped to less severe ones, shit I was happy to walk away with 10 months, instead of 10 years. Poker face. I bluffed & won that time. I admit I have been extremely lucky due to the cops inaptetude, trust me I pissed them off. As soon as I'm told "you cannot do that" I find ways off doing it. Lessons learnt at times define the way you are. There was a time when I was put in a segregation cell, which is totally empty, for drug smuggling on my visit. Now I was in a predicament as I needed to get back my wing, and the only way was too hand over the unauthorised article I received on my visit. If I done that then my visitors they would be arrested, so what did I come up with, a saying too which I stick by "if you've got a problem, there is always a way out! To which I then started scraping the dried toothpaste off the walls and handing over too the guards who confirmed it too be drugs, I was quickly returned to the wing to get smashed. I heard it costs hundreds of pounds to analyse the toothpaste. Which YOU, paid for. A strong lesson that day, one which I shall not forget. Another one too me. One off my greatest abilities is knowing when I'm being lied too. And I respect honesty! Deserves my attention & loyalty. Once being on a therapeutic prison community, mixing with sex offenders and the likes, I became friends with a guy who out the blue on meal time, a comment was raised at a table to which we all overheard " and I suppose your innocent as well " a comment to a sex offender. You're all innocent arnt yous. When a reply from another table was no I'm not, I raped her. To which he then had my total respect. Another sad case was my friend Jimmy. Who was the kindest, nicest man I've ever met, was sadly in for rape. This man had evidence real hard evidence, that he was innocent. Yet could not be used in court as evidence as he didn't inform this person she was being recorded. A great guy who I wished I'd stayed in contact with. In my younger days prison officers used to inform me off the peados on the wing, and I had carte Blanche too beat them up. They were then coming too me too beat up other inmates who had upset these guards. And they would turn a blind eye. I got paid, and enjoyed doing it. Work is work yes? I earned the equivilant of a prison weeks wages in a two minute job. This came too an end when the S.O. Informed me & my crew off a convicted child sex offender. I did like this spouse kid too, being so far from home we had too stick together. And I could off stopped the attack if I'd wanted too and I was involved in a very serious assault. Deserved all he got yes? It turned out that this alleged peedo, was in fact not at all in for the said crime, but who had complained against this officer off violence, and was being investigated. I really appreciated this mans forgiveness, humbling. What I could not stand was the double standards off some so called criminals. So we had beat up many a peedo, when this big mother came on the wing who was a professional boxer, and yet they were all getting cold feet, twice my size I watched him go too the ones shower. I then supposedly on my own filled up a mop bucket, with boiling water and suger then threw this on him in the shower. Fair play this guy came out swinging, I watched him flaw 5/6 guys before I watched him being smacked with a iron. That scared me that day as I've never seen a head wound like that. The five off us who got nicked and was nicknamed the miller 5. I remember getting the giggles all the way through the police interview, the copper became really threatening and said "don't you realise how serious this is" to which I laughed harder. I was never the top guy in my crew, my mate stocker was from Corby. He was the one with the weed. Seeing as I has been re classified, and was still technally a Y.P. under 21. Being moved too an adult jail was meant too calm me down. I was put on the induction wing in Woodhill, and I asked this guy for a smoke, he had a fat pack. He told me No! I went back too his cell 5 mins later tooled up, and relieved him off all his tobacco, leaving him with bumps and bruises. As I walked out his cell with my ill gotten gains, I was shouted too come too the office. I had this bloody tool, and was being watched. Panic, so when I was in a blind spot I ran in too a cell, and hid this stuff before going to the office. It was nothink, so on the way too collect this stuff, there was these three guys all looking mean at the top off the landing, they were cousins and looked quite handy. When Stuart the leader, said in a Scottish accent, "get that shit out off his cell, what I'd hidden minutes earlier" I was put off by the way he was speaking too me and I'm pretty god damn fuming really, so after collecting this stuff, I was being followed by these guys too my cell. I was tooled up so was ready, and as soon as I'd got in my cell, I was ready too ponce, when this guy put his hand out and introduced himself and gave me a big Fuck off chunk off gold. (weed) I followed him on the his wing some days later, where I kinda felt the Corby boys adopted me, and stuart was placed in charge off keeping control off me. Well I did arrive to that prison in a body belt accompanied by 12 officers. But being
Real Life Crime. • Opuss № I