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twistedtail

I like sketching, writing and music. I can play 8 instruments. I have two cats - Truffle (my fluffy evil genius) and Stanley ( his not-quite-as-evil sidekick).

39
Stories
58
Followers

Stories by @twistedtail (39)

twistedtail
twistedtail
2012-08-16T20:38:23

Meowing iPods?

Umm..... lot of people are saying that their ipods meow but mine doesnt. Is it supposed to meow?.

4 5 18 words
twistedtail
twistedtail
2012-08-09T08:37:52

Untitled

Yay. Usain Bolt won the 100m. That mean on the athletics leaderboard: 1st. GB (where I live) 2nd. Jamaica (where I'm from) Yeeeeeees. Well in, Bolt!.

16 0 26 words
twistedtail
twistedtail
2012-07-31T15:45:18

Texting the Cat

Dear Owner, How are you this fine day. The weather is fine, is it not. Sincerely, Sir Truffle Cookie ____________________ TC i told u already. this is just texting. you dont have to be posh.

4 0 100 words
twistedtail
twistedtail
2012-07-31T14:23:29

Dairy of a Superhero's Cat

Dear Dairy, Ugh, of all the superheroes, why did it have to be Batman. Honestly, he's decided to call me Batcat. BATCAT. Why can't I have a proper cat name, like Truffle or Juniper.

14 4 288 words
twistedtail
twistedtail
2012-07-31T13:50:37

WTF Dreams

I had the weirdest dream last night. My old french teacher was chasing me round my school throwing spoons at me?!?!?. What's the weirdest dream you've ever had?.

10 9 28 words
twistedtail
twistedtail
2012-07-31T13:02:56

Yay?

Well, I literally only woke up about...... 45 mins ago. I'm lazy, ok. Last night, I was rank 1009 and woke up this... umm... afternoon to find that I am now rank 526.

12 2 46 words
twistedtail
twistedtail
2012-07-30T13:13:42

Crossword

:3. P. U. R. W P S. O N E L I T T L E F O X. A E C. S T R I P Y K. I S. N. G.

24 3 42 words
twistedtail
twistedtail
2012-07-26T19:50:29

The Last Egg

You're absolutely starving, and want some food that's new. You only have one egg left, so what are you gonna do. It’s hardly enough for breakfast. It isn’t enough when you bake.

16 1 78 words
twistedtail
twistedtail
2012-07-13T21:10:46

#BestSongEver

I'm now holding a survey to try and find the best song ever. If you have a favourite song, vote for it.

2 0 139 words
twistedtail
twistedtail
2012-06-22T20:59:08

Smoke

It twirls and curls, Up in the sky. Leaving the fire, Not saying goodbye. This silent assassin, Never asks why. Beautiful yet deadly, Stinging your eye.

40 6 82 words
twistedtail
twistedtail
2012-06-20T19:39:12

Macavity - The Mystery Cat

This is my favourite poem. I heard it when I was younger and I liked it so I thought I'd share it with you. Hope you like it. Macavity - the Mystery Cat, by T.S.

2 0 484 words
twistedtail
twistedtail
2012-06-20T18:29:09

Louis Spence

Louis Spence, Louis Spence, Worth way more than fifty pence. I love the way, You make me smile, Even if it's just for a while. I like you, Cos you make my day, Just so fabulously gay.

10 0 64 words
twistedtail
twistedtail
2012-06-20T18:15:07

River Bend

Sometimes when I'm confused, Or my mind's completely blank, I go outside, take in the air And sit on the river bank.

10 0 95 words
twistedtail
twistedtail
2012-06-20T17:38:36

Wales!

Sorry guys, I won't be on opuss next week from Monday cos I'll be in Wales. I'll be back on Friday. Hopefully, I'll have a whale of a time!.

10 3 29 words
twistedtail
twistedtail
2012-06-20T17:18:59

The Howling Wind

Chapter 2 ************** "Hey, Shadowcub, want to go explore the territory?" Shadowcub looked up.

2 0 680 words
twistedtail
twistedtail
2012-06-17T22:49:31

The Howling Wind

Chapter 1 ************** The blizzard was stronger than ever that night in the Arctic. One wrong step and you could be blown far far away.

10 12 399 words
twistedtail
twistedtail
2012-06-17T21:00:14

Untitled

Hi guys, I'm thinking about writing a story about wolves. There are three packs of wolves with a big rivalry. The leader of one of the packs finds an abandoned cub.

0 0 64 words
twistedtail
twistedtail
2012-06-17T19:28:59

Untitled

Just thought I'd let you know to stop any confusion that I am in fact Chinchillapancake25. I have just changed my name to twistedtail. That is all….

0 0 27 words
twistedtail
twistedtail
2012-06-10T12:56:05

Sorry

Sorry I'm not perfect. Sorry I'm not true. Sorry I'm not happy. Sorry I'm not you. Sorry I'm not there. Sorry I'm not extraordinary. Sorry I'm not thin. Sorry I'm just ordinary. Sorry I'm outspoken.

34 0 106 words
twistedtail
twistedtail
2012-06-09T17:13:14

Perfect Love

On a summer's day long, long ago I fell in love and I'll never know Just what it was that made me feel So drawn to him, what the appeal That set my pulses so to race When ever I gazed upon his...

10 0 156 words
twistedtail
twistedtail
2012-06-09T16:41:32

Pacman

You know how they say video games affect kids. Well, does that mean that Pacman makes people run around in dark rooms eating magic pills and shouting "Waka waka waka!"?.

6 4 30 words
twistedtail
twistedtail
2012-06-09T15:21:52

Two Muddy Kittens

<3 /\_/\ /\_/\ ( • - • ) ( • - • ) __(_____)_(_____)__ |_________________| \ / \ ______________/ ...

38 3 181 words
twistedtail
twistedtail
2012-06-09T13:37:43

Row Row Row!

Hey ho ahoy we go. Row me hearties. Row row row. Chucklin' bubblin', Life's a dream, I am the brook, That finds the stream. Hey ho ahoy we go. Row me hearties. Row row row.

18 4 84 words
twistedtail
twistedtail
2012-06-05T12:12:25

Having Fun with Google Search #1

Don't you hate it when you try to type something in the search box on Google and it tries to guess what you're looking for. Especially those ones that make you go ಠ_ಠ .

26 8 200 words
twistedtail
twistedtail
2012-05-06T11:25:24

Find the I

Like if you find it.

10 4 6 words
twistedtail
twistedtail
2012-04-15T21:24:57

Peanuts

The other day I bought a packet of peanuts and on the back it said 'may contain nuts'. Well, DUH. That's what I bought them for. You'd be annoyed if you opened it and a mini D.I.Y kit fell out..

14 2 40 words
twistedtail
twistedtail
2012-04-15T20:58:09

Untitled

A dyslexic man walked into a bra..

4 0 7 words
twistedtail
twistedtail
2012-04-15T20:57:19

Untitled

A woman gets on a bus with her baby. The driver says: "Ugh, that's the ugliest baby I've ever seen!" The woman walks to the back of the bus and sits down, fuming.

8 0 66 words
twistedtail
twistedtail
2012-04-15T20:40:17

Untitled

I had dinner with the world chess champion. The tablecloth was checkered. It took him three hours to pass me the salt..

4 0 22 words
twistedtail
twistedtail
2012-04-15T20:34:36

Untitled

I went to the zoo. There was only one dog in it. It was a shitzu..

6 1 16 words
twistedtail
twistedtail
2012-04-15T20:31:39

Revenge

My therapist said I have a preoccupation with vengeance. We'll see about that......

2 0 13 words
twistedtail
twistedtail
2012-04-15T19:58:39

10 Bad Excuses for Being Late

1. There was an explosion on my street and I had to help the police with casualties. 2.

14 1 159 words
twistedtail
twistedtail
2012-04-12T11:38:28

Toilets

The other day I went into one of those toilet cubicles or port-o-potties or whatever you call them (I wouldn't recommend them, they stink).

18 2 110 words
twistedtail
twistedtail
2012-04-11T13:30:15

That Awkward Moment

That awkward moment when you're on Facebook and it says some random person has accepted your friend request and you didn't even realise you sent them one.

2 0 37 words
twistedtail
twistedtail
2012-04-11T10:20:51

Friendship

"Make new friends but keep the old, one is silver and the other is gold.".

2 0 15 words
twistedtail
twistedtail
2012-04-11T09:58:06

Nothing

"There is no such thing as nothing, there is always something." ~ Me.

0 4 13 words
twistedtail
twistedtail
2012-04-10T21:56:35

Untitled

"When a woman says nothing's wrong, EVERYTHING's wrong. When a woman says EVERYTHING's wrong, EVERYTHING's wrong.

6 0 33 words
twistedtail
twistedtail
2012-04-10T21:49:21

Untitled

"Flee from hate, mischief and jealousy. Don't bury your thoughts, put your vision to reality." ~ Bob Marley.

4 0 18 words
twistedtail
twistedtail
2012-04-10T15:31:28

Untitled

Dear Pessimist, While you and the optimist were arguing about whether my glass of Pepsi was half empty or half full, I drank it. Love from the Opportunist.

14 0 28 words