25 May 2012
Long rant below*
I was wandering around the hot city streets today looking for a place to shelter myself from the searing sun.
I was approached by an annoying charity worker waving his hands at me.
I did'nt want to appear rude, so rather than ignore him, I glanced his way.
He approached me and asked. "where are you from?".
"London" I said.
He shook his head.
"No where are you from originally?". He asked.
"London" I said again as he fixed me with a confused stare.
I knew that he was asking about my ethnicity. But his choice of wording "originally?", I thought it was only right to give him a literal answer. Although usually I would put on a terrible accent and pretend to be Australian...Ok I'm getting off track now.
Identity?
Like alot of people in our supposed multicultural nation. I have wondered about my ethnic and national identity.
I was born in Britain, I have a British passport, I'm always routing for Britain in any sports, I was part of Great Britain's Martial Arts Academy, I like British Music, etc, etc...But am I British?
According to the demented tram lady who made the news and was posted on youtube I'm not. For her reasons, as she so blunty put it "you're not British, you're not white".
No I am not white. What am I then? I've always wondered. If we are simply talking colour I'm brown. But no browner than that white lady at the supermarket who always goes overboard with fake tan.
My mother was born in Mauritius, a tiny island with a colourful history. Our ancestors are a mix of Indian, Portugese, Dutch and French people.
I don't know much of my fathers heritage. But I do know that he was Mauritian and his mother was from Madagascar. Does that make me part African? I am pretty street savvy and damned good at basketball...(not really).
So do I identify with my parents roots?
No...No I don't. Not because I've renounced them. But because I've simply never had the chance to.
I'm not close with any of my family, and it's been like that since I was born. I'm not exaggerating when I say I've passed relatives on the street who have no idea who I am.
Of my friends, only one of them is Mauritian. And he does'nt really count since he seems to think he's black.
And growing up in a very ethnically diverse part of London, my friends are a very varied mix.
So have I had a stereotypically British upbringing? I don't know.
I like Italian food, Korean Movies, east Asian fashion, and Romanian artists.
As for religion, my mother is a hindu born catholic. I wear a little hindu pendant on my necklace which she gave me. I also wear a gold crucifix which she gave me. Plus theres that handcuff key I've got on there...But I digress.
I myself am not religious. I've read the bible but not the Vedas, the Tora or the Quaran.. But in short, I'm not quite an atheist but I'm not associated with any religion.
So no religion and no real feel for ethnic identity.
I discussed this with my lecturer and friend once. And he asked, "what do you feel?".
Do I feel Mauritian? No.
Do I feel British? Ever so slightly.
But really, I just feel like me. Although I wonder what that is sometimes...hence my rant.
But I'm sure people judge me automatically by the colour of my skin before I've even opened my mouth. I can see it in their eyes, a subtle comment, a vague question, a poor attempt at political correctness.
When I see someone Black, Brown, White or Yellow. I don't think of the stereotypes associated with them. I don't think, oh I bet he's good at math, or he's probably a criminal, or I bet he's smells like curry.
I just see a person not their colour. But hey I'm no saint. I'll see a guy in a cheap tracksuit and a pitbull and think "look at that chav", that's probably just as bad.
I've come to learn that a number of factors including environment, class, family etc, define to at least some level, who you are.
But what if something as simple as colour also defines who you are.
If I was brought up in exactly the same way I have been, but I was Black, or White, or Chinese. Would people see me differently? And more importantly, would I be a different person?
I wonder...
Identity? • Opuss № I