4 November 2012
Okay so today has been so hard for me. I don't want to bog everyone down with my sob story but my Granny has fallen ill and worry is consuming me. She's the closest woman to me, the only person I can turn to and discuss my real problems without worrying about her judgment. She gives the best advice and her talks help clear my head no-end. If I loose my Granny what am I supposed to do then? I mean I have my mum and sisters but they'll just give me a hug and say it'll be okay when I know full well it wont. And as for Ebs, she's never lost a family member so doesn't know the real pain that eats away at you day by day until you can't take it anymore.
I wrote this prayer for my Granny while I visited her in hospital: 'Dear God, I know I rarely pray to you and my faith may not be obvious but I do know that you're out there somewhere working away to make the world a better place. Everyone says that it's your judgement that decides when someone is ripped from out lives but frankly is that really true? Do you have a huge book that has a page dedicated to everyone person and then a plan of our lives and the day we die underneath it? I don't believe it for a second and I certainly don't believe that my Granny is ready to pass, not just yet anyway. Her 50th wedding anniversary is approaching and so is my 16th so I ask you one thing, just one.. Please let my Granny live just for a little while longer just so she can make all the big milestones. She's an amazing woman, a real diamond to the human race so grant her the strength to pull through this struggle. If you do, I will promise that I will be the best person imaginable, I'll give up anything and everything just to see my Granny live. Amen'.
Please pray for my Granny, it'd mean such an awful lot to me. Thank you,
Velvet x x
'Dear God' • Opuss № I