22 February 2013
I can't sleep.
It's only 11:30pm but I haven't slept before midnight for a few days now and I'm so tired.
Yet I still can't sleep.
I dealt with this problem a lot before Marek and weirdly enough when I was talking to him, I experienced my inability to fall asleep much less frequently. However, when I was talking to him, I couldn't stay asleep.
It's weird. I don't know why my sleep patterns changed when I was talking to him.
But anyway, I can't sleep. I'm sad...and I have no one to talk to. Except for Opuss. But sometimes even Opuss isn't a very good listener.
I'm lying in the dark...on my bed...in my clothes. I'm still wearing makeup.
My jeans are comfy.
I feel like I've sold my soul. The online dating site just makes me feel more lonely. More sad. More cheap. Cheaper than what I really am.
Or maybe I was never worth that much.
Being tired and awake when I shouldn't be enhances these lame feelings. In the morning things will be more manageable. Mostly because there are distractions.
Well...gnite Opuss.
Fucking Awake • Opuss № I