18 December 2012
I had finally broken up with Jessica. The breakup liberated my feelings of neglect due to her disinterest in “coming out.” The truth was, I was tired of sneaking around. I was tired of the games. Tired of the antics. I had told her how tired I was because I loved her, but I guess she didn’t feel the same way because she still kissed her boyfriend. And the way he touched her...I doubted that she had been refusing to sleep with him.
I walked around the crowded mall by myself, eating a soft pretzel and forcing back any thoughts of her. I looked bitterly at all of the happy, straight couples, wondering that if I were straight, maybe I could be just as happy. After all, there are more hardships as a result of being gay. As I walked, I mulled the idea of being with a guy, but the thought didn’t sit right with me. I couldn't understand the appeal.
I went into Forever 21, which was a mistake to begin with. Probably one hundred teenage to middle-aged women were rushing around the store, grabbing all that they could. I sighed as I squeezed my way through the bustling shoppers to look at the jewelry.
Absently admiring the shiny things, I picked up a random pair of earrings and held them against my ears. When I looked in the mirror, I caught the sight of an attractive girl. I put the earrings back down and turned around, my eyes narrowing in on her. I watched as the girls that she was with snickered and gasped as they admired the clothes, greedily taking clothes off the racks; more clothes than they could afford. I sucked in a breath and marched over, but as I got closer, I slowed. What was I doing? I can’t just pick up a girl in Forever 21. And she’s with her friends.
I turned back around and went out the door, glaring at the happy, straight couples that sauntered past me. Groaning, I went into the adjoining store, which happened to be the men’s Lucky store.
I stopped short in the doorway, about to turn around, when a guy approached me. “Hello,” he greeted, grinning. “Can I help you with anything?” I stared at him, unsure of what to say. “We just got a new selection of plaid shirts, if you would like to look at them,” he said. I sighed and nodded, deciding why the hell not. I had nothing better to do.
He led me to a wall and gestured to the shirts on the rack. “These are the new ones. There’s five new shades. The ones in the back are on clearance, if you’re more interested in that.” I examined the price tag of one of the shirts. “Yeah, these are kinda pricey.” He smiled slightly and led me to the back of the small store. “These are really nice too,” he commented. I silently nodded my head and ran my hand over the fabric. “Yeah, they’re soft,” I noted in a slight daze, admiring them. “Are you shopping for a boyfriend?” he inquired politely. I blinked my eyes, zoning in on the present, and looked up at him. “God, no,” I replied. “God, no.” “Oh,” he said, shifting on his feet. “Well, if you need anything, let me know. My name is Darren.” He started to walk away. “Hey, Darren?” He turned around and looked at me. “Yeah?” “What size are you?” His brows pulled together. “Medium.” I pulled a medium red and black plaid shirt off the hanger and asked, “Can you ring this up for me?” He nodded and I followed him to the register.
He scanned the tag and took off the security stick, and I handed over the cash. When he gave me the change and the bag with the shirt, I accepted the change but pushed the bag back toward him. “It’s for you,” I said, dropping the coins into my purse. “Merry Christmas.” As he stared at the bag that was in front of him, I headed for the door. “Hey! Wait!” I turned around and he stopped in front of me. “I can’t accept this. It’s yours; you paid for it.” He held it out to me, and I pushed it away, shaking my head. “I got it for you. Please just take it,” I begged. He nervously looked around the empty store, then looked back at me. “Can I at least take you out or something? We can get cheesecake,” he offered. I cracked a smile. “Now?” He looked at his watch and then frowned. “I can’t close for another hour. But after that, I’ll take you out.” “Okay. But you should know, don’t take this as a date. I’m into girls.” His eyes crinkled, and then he broke out into a grin. “Okay...sorry, what’s your name?” “Liz,” I replied. “Okay, Liz. Meet me here at nine.”
And I did meet him there at nine. He took me to the Cheesecake Factory and we got two cheesecakes, sharing them. We talked about nothing and everything, laughing and joking like we had known each other for years. At the end of the night, we swapped numbers. I had turned down his offer to drive me home, opting for the bus instead. As I sat on the bus, I smiled to myself. I could finally see the appeal of dating a guy.
Lucky • Opuss № I