28 December 2012
Before I talk to him:
Is it rude to assume that people that date online must have something wrong with them?
For example, me, I'm fucking shy as hell. I get so nervous and anxious around new people that want to talk to me...I come off as kind of rude or hostile sometimes I think. That's my problem. A lot of people that date online said that they have a similar problem.
But the guy that I've been texting nonstop doesn't seem to have social problems. He doesn't seem to have any problems! I've asked him tons of questions where there could be a problem but there isn't!
He's not in a gang. He has a job. He has goals. He never did drugs. He works out all the time. He eats really well...like he eats healthy things. He's super friendly and goofy He doesn't own illegal weapons He's never stolen anything He's actually an undeclared Boy Scout He has never been arrested As far as I'm concerned he doesn't get mad easily so he's probably not abusive I can't think of anything else right now...
But yeah, he can be lying about everything. Maybe it's naive of me to assume he's telling the truth just because he sounds earnest. But I do believe him. And that's that.
But I'm freaking out because there must be something wrong with the guy! And I'm honestly also freaking out because I really like him now. I really really like him and I can't really really like him. He's always on my mind and I'm always anxiously awaiting his texts... I do not want to be so hung up on him. It's not healthy because if something were to happen with us I would be too emotional about it.
So I decided that we should not talk to each other today! Take a day off or whatever. I can do some schoolwork, take my friend out to Starbucks and cry, and clean my room. I need to get things done man and I can't get things done right now because I'm like...emotional.
About five days ago I was lonely as hell and now I have some awesome guy that wants to text and call me and he makes me feel really good yknw? It's a fast change that is too reliant on the phone.
Anyway...I'm going to call him soon. Maybe when it's a more reasonable time...it's still early right now.
Wish me luck <33 And btw I deactivated my account...I don't think I really need it anymore :3
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