12 March 2013
It's a long title, I know. But I'm never using OkCupid again.
I'm fucking DONE. I deleted it.
Sorry @chickgamer I can email you if wanna talk. I did reply to you.
I ended things with Jeramie.
I know a lot of you liked him, I do too, but I was always so sad texting him. I was pessimistic from the start about us working out, and he was always talking me out of my sad thoughts.
I'm not myself.
He would compliment me, I would feel shitty. It wasn't good.
It was hard to end things with him. Then he told me I was the cause of his happiness.
Sheesh. I know how Marek must've felt, I think.
But unlike Marek, I didn't drag it out for 2 months saying sweet things. I didn't tell Jeramie that I loved him. Nope. I never even called him "my dear" or "my love" or "my Jeramie."
I was never so wrapped up in my feelings. I'm not fucking delusional. I'm a thoughtful person. A writer for fun. Observant.
Unlike Marek.
Although I doubt I was a pleasant person to break up with, since I was basically begging for a logical reasons from Marek about why he wanted to end things, especially considering the fact that he had spewed so much bullshit before. But I had never said that he was the reason for my happiness. He wasn't. He made me happy, but I wasn't relying on him for happiness.
Unlike Jeramie.
All Jeramie replied back, after I sent a somewhat harsh and blunt message (being kind wasn't working), was "Alright..."
I'm sad. I like him. But I couldn't do it.
I feel bad. But I need to do what's best for me.
I'm still friends with the 20 year old Mexican though. Regardless of his drunk texts. I don't know if we'll be talking much longer. But because we're strictly friends, I don't feel sad talking to him. It's all good there. For now.
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