20 February 2013
I am awesome.
I radiate awesomeness.
People flock to me because they realize that I'm more awesome than them, and they want to be associated with my radiating awesomeness in the hopes of obtaining some.
But they can't obtain it. They are unworthy of my golden awesomeness.
Not only am I awesome, but I look good.
I am cute. I am adorable. I am attractive.
Especially today. All the straight boys and gay girls will be taking double takes because I am sexy.
And I'm an animal.
I'm a seximal.
Little do people know that I am on the prowl. If they take my bait, I'll ensure them with my awesome seximalness and they will be blinded by my amazing self. They will fall in love with me.
People are lucky that I am not going after them. They are lucky that I am waiting for them to recognize my charms. If I did go after them, they would be rendered helpless by my amazingness. They will wonder how it's legal for someone to be so amazing. And funny.
I am a riot.
I can make people laugh left and right, their cheeks and tummies will hurt from chuckling so hard.
I am a hot tamale. I am a catch. I am the best thing that you will ever have.
I don't need you to tell me how amazing I am, I already know. But I don't hate hearing you tell me that I rock your socks and your pants off over and over again.
I am independent. I am strong.
I do not need you to feel worthy because I know I am worthy.
I'm irreplaceable.
Don't bother looking for someone that is as awesome as me, for you will become depressed by your failure. You will quickly realize that I am the only super awesome person ever, and that it sucks that you lost me.
You will pine for me for months, and maybe even years, just to hear my sultry voice, to feel my gentle caress, to hear my sweet laughter, and to receive my wonderful smile. You will have dreams about me every night. Your mind will hate you for letting such an awesome person go and for being stuck with you.
Your mind will then turn against you for letting me go. Your whole body will join in on the revolt for letting me go. You will suffer from sickness and bad luck for approximately 3 years. You will be regretful and unhappy.
And I will continue to be awesome.
Said Into A Mirror • Opuss № I