Six foot three bespectacled ginger-bearded designer and illustrator. I also poetify with rhymification. www.waynedorrington.co.uk
Do you know of Christmas time. A day of gifts and joy sublime. A time of laughter, feasts and more... Yet do you know all that's in store.
Once there was a purple fox, That half of whom lived in a box; The other half, I should confess, Would wear the finest formal dress.
There was a town, Called 'Windy Teeth', With land above, And wheels beneath; And every one, Within that town, Lived in a windmill, Of blue and brown.
There is a tune inside my head. It sneaked in there whilst in my bed. It plays and plays and never ends. Unwanted tunes: you're NOT my friends..
Heed my wisened Words of woe: Our feet are scheming Oh I know. The war of toes has just begun. For feet outnumber us Two to one..
(This is for @Powpunch based on her many underwater adventures, and also repayment for her once writing a very nice poem about my poetic nonsense.) - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - If you...
| | | | | | | | | Where does the rain fall to and from. Why does it dash with such aplomb.
One night as in my chair I sit, (More bored that I would care admit,) I thought I saw a something flit, But knew not what it was, to-whit.
My glasses don't sit we'll on my face, They're always in a different place; They hover just in front of me: Perhaps they know where I should be.
A few #tshirt ideas: ------------------------ Creatified Wordification Since 2012 ------------------------ Some text. Some tweet. Some post. We write.
Whenever I look into puddles,. Reality just blends and muddles;. Do I see our world's reflected brother,. Or down a. hole. into. another?.
We've seen so much as we explore, But there is yet still so much more; Let's press on further, if you agree, Around the Magnificent Maniacal Menagerie...
o o o o o If I owned a submarine, o I'd go down deeper than we've been; Across...
22 said to 88: "You've both been looking fat of late; Perhaps you both should join a gym, And minus some to be more slim?" _ _ ________ ( o ) ( o ) / we're...
.
As I lay here quietly breathing, The quiet night outside perceiving, My eyes upon the ceiling wide in fear; The house below is still, With no sound to break the chill, Save the blood within my heart...
Why does it happen, You suppose, That after we have \ blown our nose, _ \ We fold the tissue, (___) The contents hide; __( :• But not...
. ____ / , -- , \ There's still so much for us to find, So many doors to peek behind; The wonders never cease to be, In the Magnificent Maniacal Menagerie...
Let's sneak inside the gates at night, A stolen glance that we may sight; The strangest zoo we'll ever see: The Magnificent Maniacal Menagerie... __ ( / .~.
I'm very much against Plagiarism. All those rats and zombies spreading diseases just isn't right..
Why is the moon so far away. It has such a long commute each day; Instead of living up in the sky, It should buy a moon-shaped house, nearby..
I knew a girl With a condition, Most baffling though I'm no physician; For with any kind Of cough or sneeze, From out her bottom ( | -) - - - - • Would fly peas.
No poem today. I have to chase my cat around the house and suck up all its wee with a syringe. It's for the vet. Its not a hobby or anything..
Beware, beware, The cats that stare- For they may catch you unaware. Feed them fast and feed them right: Or they may wee on you in the night.
Hear my pasty, gingery blab: You should NEVER trust A bearded crab. Oh I know their game: They're in disguise... Those cunning crustaceous spies.
"Fictional quotes for a cheap laugh are a crime against literature." - Dr. Bernard Sucknipple.
Once upon a story, In a swamp most grim and gory, There sat a creepy twisted tangled mat; Made of gnarled and mossy branches, Grown with magic, luck and chances, Grew a cottage shaped just like a...
Whilst paying for my train ticket at the station, I pulled my wallet out and my pocket had given it one of those dangly bits of black thread that does a big spider impression.
There once were two called This and That, One a weasel, one a cat; They lived inside a circus tent, Built on a raft to save on rent.
After trying yet another of McDonalds' limited edition "Speciality Tastes" burgers, I think it's high time they just own up and admit that ALL of their burgers will inevitably taste exactly the same,...
Good King Alfred Royally sat, Upon his throne And Royal mat. Upon his head, The Royal crown, Around his neck, The Royal gown. And by his side, Proud and vain, Good Queen Marge, (The Royal Pain)..
I'm thinking of getting that laser eye surgery. Then I can use them to fight the forces of evil..
This tale to you, I now impart, A story sad right from the start; There may be morals, Maybe none... But time my woeful tale begun.
Tiny little Becky Tate, Swinging on a Garden gate, Daisy chains, Curly hair, Giggle-ing Without a care; Swinging forwards, Swinging back...
Nicola Blanch, Sat on a branch, Eating a bar of Snickers; Along crept a spider, Which blew up beside her, And left her with Snickery-Knickers..
I am now convinced that London-Midland train guards have installed covert REM deep sleep sensing equipment in the seats.
Laughter is the best medicine, I suppose it to be; But should NEVER be used, As a suppository..
I once had a yellow microphone, That when you switched it on, It gobbled up the words you said, And made them come out wrong.
Lately I've been feeling that, rather than getting anywhere, The Earth is stubbornly moving in counter-rotation to my every step.
A girl just took the empty seat next to me on the train and had started doing... needlepoint!. This doesn't help my previous mania of being on a time travelling train.
.
There was a man, Called Angus Fipp, Who had a nose upon his hip; And every time, He blew his conk, His lower nose Would also honk..
Nothing sends a platform of commuters into a cowering panic of fear and trepidation more than a bit of rain.
There is a cat, That likes to read: A curious statement I concede; But sure enough, Each day and night, It reads and reads To our delight.
Whingy Bluebeard, On a ship, One day heard His trousers rip; And though he blushed, And turned his back, The Pirates saw his ( | ) bottom crack..
There's a Crocodile under the table, There’s a Crocodile under my chair; I can feel it scrape next to my slippers... Heaven knows how on Earth it got there.
Cats can accelerate from zero to dinner in under half a second..
O What a wonderful thing to be:. Encased in golden past-er-y;. O What a glorious way to go:. Glazed in sugar, head to toe;. O what a heavenly way to die:. Baked inside a lemon pie;.
Dear Mr. Century-Fox, I've just been re-watching the old Star Wars films. They get real confusing with all that space stuff. But I only just got that Dark Invader is Lou Skywarner's FATHER. Man!.
.
I am the new Number Six.* But who is Number One. (if you haven't watched The Prisoner that won't make any sense) *On Opuss at least..
Looking down the platform whilst getting on my train, I could see a group of children all wearing what looked like black capes, also boarding.
Two cats sat on a mat,. One thin, the other fat,. One had c o u g h e d. Up all he s c o f f e d,. Whilst the other.
Why are Hipsters' legs so thin. Do they think w i d e r o n e s a sin. Do Hipsters shave Their legs by lathe Each night, When they get in?.
To all my lovely Opuss friends,. A big thanks this grateful writer sends;. 100 posts,. Ranking 8,. (But that's been up and down of late.). So thank you all,. For looking in;. I'll try to make you.
Sorry Opuss-ites, no snippy observations from my train journey today. I'm sitting opposite an extremely unconvincing transsexual and I don't think it would be appropriate..
NOTE: Calculators are not permitted when reading this joke. Please show your working out in the margin provided... An A walks into a C and orders a quantity of D from X.
There once was a man, Called Roger McDan, Who lived in Southend-on-Sea; His house was a tip, As rank as a skip, And his only companion: a Flea.
Someone on the train just got a call on their mobile...
Someone on the train just got a call on their mobile...
Remember: Should you choose to wear a frown; You can look up as well as down..
The person sitting next to me on the train suffers from Pokey Elbow Syndrome. Either that, or he's constantly trying to share a cheeky joke with me..
If sneaking round the house at night,. Be sure to always take a light;. For you may stumble unawares,. And tumble,. tumble,. down. the. stairs..
My home is darkness. I am dead. No life I feel in heart or head; No pleasant sound to soothe my ears. All but that one, through endless years...
Sitting opposite an older guy trying to chat up a younger girl on the train. He's droning on and on about himself. She has the look of someone who is desperately hoping for a derailment..
200 followers. Thanks all. Please don't literally follow me at night, down an alley. Like Zombies..
I have a curious tale to tell. Im not sure if you'll take it well. I scarcely believe it to be so; Perhaps its not. I may not know.
There's a man on the train who keeps sneezing and then saying "oh dear!" and "oh no!" afterwards. I'm hoping he's not... You know... having other related issues.. in the trouser area..
If you're worried you're insane, Go and stand out in the rain. Drop your trousers and cry out: "I am SANE, there is no doubt!".
Heart said to The Brain: "We CAN'T do this again. Each time we do, I'm left all blue, And you never act the same.".
Indecision is the worst/best thing that will/may/never happen/not happen to you..
A banana is the longest fruit between two points..
The thing I like most about sudden, dramatic endings is that they always, unerringly, without question-.
There's a little tiny mouse, That scampers round my house, With a little tiny walnut on its head; And from a tiny wire, It has fashioned eye attire, And it rides around upon a toy mo-ped.
As I sit here in my room, Working deep within this moon, I look outside my window's glass, And watch you gently rolling past.
A very large, cantankerous invisible monster came into my tv room and just heaved himself onto the sofa with a grump.
Just went with my brother to collect a garden bench from an elderly lady my parents know.
Please do NOT read this message. It was written due to a clerical error. Our writer will be given a written warning for this mistake, just as soon as he has written it.
Did anyone actually ASK the Jedi Knights to be the guardians of the Galaxy.
The passenger on the train opposite to me has an expression of wistful melancholy... Like he's haunted by the nostalgia of a past life he left behind, to get away - to forget.
NEVER underestimate the power of Greyskull..
What's the secret of comedy. ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ...
As I cavorted up the stair, I passed an Elk that wasn't there; It wasn't there again today... I think my saneness went away. (with apologies to Mr. Hughes Mearns. And an Elk.).
Ignoring the local bars and restaurants with their culture and flavour, and spending ALL available time in the Irish Theme Pub..
The person next to me on the train has a strong odour of Sugar Puffs. Still, it's an improvement on garlic..
Socks with sandals..
When in a restaurant or bar and someone drops a glass or plate, listen for a congratulatory manly cheer of "aaaaay!"..
There is a cat Upon my bed, Three foot four From tail to head. Fluffy tum stuck in the air, There's no more bed space Left to spare.
Fashionable baseball caps are an expensive indulgence.
Deep in your belly, Be it sturdy or flimsy, Lives a creature within it Known as a Whimsy. If ever you're tempted, To act odd and silly, It's that whimsical creature, Just north of your willy.
Why on my commute do I keep getting someone sitting opposite me that has clearly eaten raw garlic for breakfast?.
Some eyes prefer a quiet night in, others social eyes..
I'm sure as I slept, my pipe dreamed too. Or maybe it's just something I'm wishing we're true?.
Confusion is that state of mind between comprehension and Daniel Radcliffe..
Deep-frying discarded grass cuttings make a cheap alternative to crispy seaweed as a garnish for your Chinese meals..
Disappointed by flat beer. Drop an AlkaSeltzer into it for an instant foamy head. Repeat for every drink to save valuable time with hangovers the next morning..
Nervous of not finding your car keys when leaving for work. Simply leave the keys already in the car ignition the night before.
Worried about hair loss. Simply shave your head clean and get a exact copy of your hairstyle tattooed onto your bald pate..
#4 Man knows he is not the master of his own home, but there are still 3 things that remain within his manly power: 1. The tv remote control 2. Barbecues 3.
"I say I say I say... My wife's gone to a time paradox." "Jamaica?" "No, she went back in time and her past self told her to go there when she reached the present.".