6 August 2012
There's a spaceship in my garden, it must have landed last night. I saw it there this morning, it didn't half give me a fright.
I think it's a bit of a liberty, if they'd asked I wouldn't mind. But it's landed on my vegetable patch, and it's broken my washing line.
I did go out to have a word, but I couldn't find the front door. I'm going to need a tin opener to get inside for sure.
I know somebody's in there, cos' spaceships don't fly themselves. Little green men, or alien greys, or warhammer dark elves.
It's made my dogs go crazy, with it's myriad of lights. I know if the occupants do come out, they're gonna get covered in bites.
I've been on the phone for ages, on hold to the M.O.D. Perhaps I should try the F.B.I, maybe they'll take me seriously?
There's a spaceship in my garden, a bloody big UFO! And if it doesn't bugger off soon, my veggies will never grow!
Get Off My Land! • Opuss № I