Doctor's Orders

You have a headache you say.
Don't worry I deal with this every day.
Don't take to bed
Take this medicine instead.
Not enough?
Oh dear, here's more stuff.
Take with meals mind
(Causes ulcers we find).
I told you, you should,
Take it with food.
Now you have stomach-ache
Here's something to take.
Side effect diarrhoea?
There's a pill for that no fear.
And that's given you cramp?
We have this to down-damp.
But makes you feel dizzy
And head sort of fizzy.
Hmm, head again I see,
Yes, it seems to me
You need something stronger,
And for longer.
You're now on top dose
And rather morose
We'll add something more
Your condition looks poor.
As you're getting agitated
Time for you to be sedated.
And you feel depressed
Don't want to get dressed?
I know where you're at,
I've got something for that.
Yes it makes you put on weight,
Quite regardless what you ate.
And yes your mood goes even flatter
But that really doesn't matter,
For as I've often heard you say
You don't go out now anyway.
You still feel ill
So have another pill......

Oh! You're dead
In bed
Well no surprises
You took too many tranquilisers
You were hopelessly addicted
Entirely, totally self inflicted

Not my fault at all!