wizardkeville
BREAKING NEWS: Kanye West says he'll let Sandy finish, but thinks Katrina was the best hurricane of all time.
Adele's fan base are called "Adelephants"
The hundred meter final, the only time a man gets praise for finishing in under 10 seconds
I think the chinese people have an advantage at the olympics because they made all the equipment
Yes, real women have curves. Fat women have rolls. Rolls are not curves
Will Smith smacked a reporter at Men in Black 3 Premiere, wonder if his mum got scared and sent him to live with his auntie and uncle in Bel Air
Animal puns are not funny in any neigh, sheep or farm
Life is all about asses: We are either kissing them, kicking them, watching them, or being one.
The American dream, you have to be asleep to dream, wake up!
Capital letters are the difference between helping your Uncle Jack off a horse, and helping your Uncle jack off a horse.
What if Harry mentally created Hogwarts as a coping mechanism while living under the stairs?
Some of you walked into my life & made it better, others walked out and made it fucking fantastic
Girls are like condoms, they spend more time in your wallet than on your dick
Wonder if Woody and Buzz have ever met Andy's mum's toys, I bet they have the same names
Mark Zukerburg is so dumb, he bought Instagram for $1 billion when he could have just gone on the app store and got it for free
The only 3 things a guy should want to change about his girl is her last name, her address and her viewpoint on men
I smoke to get high cause the world is so low
You have enemies? Good, that means you've stood up for something, sometime in your life.
On which day did Jesus hide the eggs?
Wonder if Woody and Buzz have ever met Andy's mum's toys, I bet they have the same names
Want a good nights sleep so guna put my phone on Lebron James mode, no ring
How do 5 gay lads walk? In One Direction