5 June 2012
In the south of Opussia In a city called Spanque They had a strange custom Whenever they drank
Their citizens paid experts To caddy their glass By clenching the vessel Twixt cheeks of their arse.
The job was a skilled one... Employees so deft They could slot a tall glass stem In their trained bottom cleft. (If you like, think of parking a bike.)
It was rum in the rump And back-passage Bacardi For bottom-beer barrels They'd need to be hardy.
And training was strict; You could not be farty - Aside from fogged glasses You might flame-throw the party.
So think of them next time You raise glass or cup: It's because of these workers We say "bottoms up."
A Pain In The Glass • Opuss № I