7 June 2012
Dalek Air
(at the end of the aisle of the airplane is a Dalek in a small, misplaced blonde wig)
Dalek 'Porschia': HUMANS YOU WILL GIVE THE DALEK UNIT KNOWN AS... POR-SCHIA YOUR FULL ATTENTION. OBEY!
THIS IS DALEK AIR. YOU WILL ENJOY YOUR FLIGHT OR YOU WILL BE EXTERMINATED.
IN THE EVENT OF AN NON-DALEK INITIATED EMERGENCY THERE ARE THREE EMERGENCY EXITS SITUATED TO THE LEFT AND RIGHT,AS INDICATED BY THE SMALL, INTIMIDATING GESTURES MADE BY MY LASER ATTACHMENT.
INCIDENTALLY, THESE EMERGENCY EXITS ARE FALSE. IN THE EVENT OF AN EMERGENCY WE WILL TELEPORT AWAY FROM THE IMPENDING FATAL CRASH, MAKING THE SOUNDS YOU CALL 'LAUGHING'. THE EXITS ARE FALSE CONSTRUCTS MADE BY DALEK 'GLORIA' IN ART CLASS.
ECONOMY CLASS HUMANS WILL MAKE FOR THE NEAREST HOLE IN THE PLANE AND JUMP.
IF YOUR WEAK AND INFERIOR BODIES REQUIRE REFRESHMENT DURING THE FLIGHT, PLEASE DO NOT HESITATE TO PERISH. ALTERNATIVELY, PRESS THE BUTTON ABOVE YOUR SEAT MARKED 'INSTANT DEATH' AND DALEK 'JEREMY' WILL SERVE LIQUID AND NUTRITION SUPPLEMENTS.
THESE SUPPLEMENTS WERE MADE FROM THE FILLETED REMAINS OF THE WORTHLESS HU-MANS ON FLIGHT 232 BUT DO NOT CONTAIN ARTIFICIAL COLOURINGS.
FINALLY, ANY HUMAN SUGGESTING THAT A DALEK UNBLOCK THE WASTE-FILLED HUMAN LATRINE WITH A DALEK 'PLUNGER' THIS MORTAL WILL BE INSTANTLY EXTERMINATED.
FASTEN YOUR SEATBELTS. OBEY!
The Dalek Diaries: 5 (updated) • Opuss № I