29 October 2012
It's been 200 days. 200 days since I last saw my parents; 200 days since the rebellion began. I can't believe I started this.
Everyone who hasn't heard from their families, everyone who's dead: I caused all of their misery; and all because I was too stubborn to let my brother's disappearance go.
Ritchie and I had a big argument today, all about war tactics. I hate saying that, it just brings back how lonely everything is. Ritchie was saying that since the city is using bombs to get us and the rest of it unruly citizens back on side, we will too.
I'm not going to even try and explain why that's wrong, if you don't know then I'm not going waste my time on you.
"You can't do that Ritchie! Those are people too!" "People who have been bombing us, and using every violent technique they can think of to be rid of us?!" Ritchie retorted. "Don't you think I know that? You know it's me that's in line to lose everything if we lose!" I exploded with rage. "We'll then you, more than anyone should be on board." I could tell Ritchie planned to close the argument with this calm statement, but I wasn't having any of it. "No Ritchie I'm not! And do you want to know why? Because if we have no choice but to sink to The City's level to win this war; then maybe I don't want to win it." And that's when I walked away.
We haven't spoken since then. Some of my fellow soldiers have told me they think I was right; but most of them have sided with Ritchie. Sam came to tell me why he thinks we need to use Ritchie's plan. He said that yes we may be sinking to their level, and yes we could be killing innocent people; but if we don't attack them it won't stop their attacks on us. And he closed with this- "this is a war Aylia, and there are no winners in war time."
© Emily Hay 29/10/2012
200 Days • Opuss № I