22 October 2012
Gave you all of me
Let you inside to do whatever you pleased
Lies were told in the process of getting what you wanted
As I went along with it
Allowing you to think it was a great chase
The time came for you to walk all over me
And I allowed it
Tattooed your name on my insides
Leaving traces of yourself behind
Let you stay longer than you asked
And told you to come and go as you needed.
It was ok because I wanted to feel wanted
I liked to be wanted
I felt needed
Needed to be loved
But ended up being used.
So I played your little game
Put up a front like I wasn't hurt
Pretended I wasnt expecting this all along
Of course I've been hurt before
Deeper than you can imagine
Practically left for dead and nobody to come to my rescue.
So I gave up a long time ago on that love thing.
You showed up and gave me hope
Treated me like a queen
and gave me a reason to smile
Let me know it was okay to laugh from time to time
So I was convinced.
But you were on a mission
And I was just another check on your list.
No different from the rest, I tried to think you could never do this to me.
I couldn't possibly be this stupid
So irresponsible of me to lay it all on the line.
Once again my body spoke louder than my mind
I couldn't hear a thing
Over the sound of our clothes being ripped off
The kissing and the moaning.
The breathing and the sucking.
I wanted to stop.
I knew that I needed to stop.
But he told me not to stop.
So I listened
Because I'm not strong enough to make my own decisions.
But I knew I made him wait too long
So now all I have is this emptiness.
Searching for whats missing isnt easy
But I now know where not to look.
11/22 • Opuss № I