7 April 2012
This is it. The last time. Will I be able to do it? My body was getting weak too fast. It was only one in the morning when I got up from bed, and dialled Drew's number from my cellphone. I deleted him from my contacts and decided to memorize his number instead. Mom doesn't mind having male friends but I can tell she has a certain dislike for Drew. And this time, mom was surely winning the game.
"Hey, Beatrice. What's up?"
"Oh. Hi Drew. I just wanted to tell you something before it's not yet late. You know the tree where we used to hang out? The largest one by the edge of Collins park?"
"Hmm. The one that looks like a lone cypress but definitely not a redwood?" he replied jokingly.
"Yeah. That's the one. Stands by the edge of the park. Can you come see me?"
"Sure. When do you want me to come?"
"I'm planning to see you now."
"Okay. How can I say 'No'?" he said reassuringly.
"Thanks. I'll see you then." I dropped my handset lifelessly as I begin to recollect years of love and friendship I had with Drew.
I remember the time when my father died, and Drew promised me that he would make me happy, that he would do anything to see me smile because my father would want that. "If I stopped caring, I'd die." He used to tell me. We were so young then, maybe thirteen or less.
One time, we were playing hide and seek along Collins park when I found a huge tree that stands just near the edge of what seemed like a cliff. Drew was done counting and to my excitement, I moved a little backward so he couldn't see where I was. And just then, I felt small stones slip beneath my feet. My balance went off, and I fell a few feet below. My elbows earned scrapes from the jagged ends of the rock which I tried so hard to cling on to, and my legs bled from the slip and fall. I was fighting for breath as my lips dried to a crack and as my hands were beginning to numb. I tilted my head just enough so that I could see the peaceful skies maybe for the last time. With dying effort, I let go of my left hand, shifted my weight to the right, and trusted my life with my right hand.
I managed one last look at the sky and instead, saw this thick wave of brown hair that resembled Drew's.
Before my right hand gave up, the boy seized my lifeline.
I opened my eyes. Dawn was now breaking. And unlike before, I wasn't bleeding. I sat on the patch of dry grass with my back against the lone cypress, now seeing only the cliff that was surrounding me. The moon was perfectly bright and round illuminating the beauty of tree where I sat. It was starless, and I sensed that rain was inevitable.
A few meters away, I can make out Drew's voice calling my name. I replied with a familiar hum.
I can hear his treading, now slow, as it came to a stop. There was temporary darkness as he stood in front of me, blocking the moonlight. He got down on his knees, held my hands and looked at me. I don't know how my face looked at that time but when I started to talk, he looked as if he was seeing me fall through the cliffend once again.
"hey. Thank you for coming."
Drew let out a confused expression and demanded for an explanation. "Why at this hour?"
"I was just testing you." I managed a smile.
"Stop testing me from now on, will you? It creeps me out."
"yeah. Me too."
I begin to wish that things were simple. That I have to say goodbye, and no feelings were being stepped on. But I knew it was too good to be true, that for a second, even with my eyes closed, my heart was beating for Drew. And that one last time I opened my eyes to see the sky, with my life hanging on the line, I knew it was going to be him. Only him.
So how can I tell him, "I'm dying, Drew."?
"I'm moving, Drew. You can stop caring now." was all I could say.
It was less frightening, more valid, and something he can never say 'No' to.
I embraced him in the moonlight, never wanting to let go, when finally, I said, "Remember the last time you saved me here? It felt so good, just like now. Thanks for saving me again. I will never find someone as good as you to love."
He tightened his arms that wrapped me, and said, "Who am I to stop you from leaving? Isn't that what life is about? You come, you love someone, and you leave an everlasting impression. That's all that matters."
I was now crying, my breath--shallow, when I said my last,
"Then tell me, did I leave an everlasting impression?"
His tears began to flow.
"In my lifetime, only you have."
Then, the breathing stopped. But it was not mine.
By the Lone Cypress • Opuss № I