Possibly pointless and mostly random words that may or may not form themselves into sentences if stared at long enough!
10 years is to long to not speak to someone you love and care about. I missed my brother everyday and was to stubborn to tell him and let go of the past. Who ever you have.. What ever the grudge..
I watch the Voice.. Or smear anchovies in my eyes.... Hmm now where is the can opener?.
You want someone to love you?. Try loving yourself first..
I like salt and vinegar crisps, but don't like the taste of either on food..
Q. If the dove is the bird of peace what is the bird of true love. A. The swallow.
Did you hear about the Chinese couple that had a retarded baby. They named him "Sum Ting Wong.".
How do you find a blind man in a nudist colony. It's not hard..
What is a Yankee. The same as a quickie, but a guy can do it alone..
I have more followers on here than real life friends....!.
Deuteronomy 22:5 The woman shall not wear that which pertaineth unto a man, neither shall a man put on a woman's garment: for all that do so are an abomination unto the LORD thy God.
When in doubt, mumble..
We never really grow up, we only learn how to act in public..
I just went in to the top 100 ranked on Opuss!!!. How exciting!. Well it would be, if I knew what that actually meant.... After all there could only be 101 people on here!.
Inspiration can come in several ways. Sometimes there's nothing for 3 or 4 days. No words or poems, no lyrics or rhymes. Though I look at my notepads hundreds of times.
I believe five out of four people have trouble with fractions..
Here I sit on the train once more. Facing an obnoxious bore. Self obsessed with profit and loss. Spouting his eternal dross. His colleagues roll there eyes and scoff. Wishing he'd just bugger off.
Words cannot express the pain you have inflicted upon me. I have never been more hurt in all the years i have spent on this earth, than I have been, by you, today.
Bad spellers of the world untie..
If a turtle does not have a shell on, is he homeless or naked?.
Support bacteria - they're the only culture some people have..
42.7 percent of all statistics are made up on the spot..
Why is everyone sat here in silence. Why is everyone to scared to speak. Could this journey be more depressing. Could this journey be any more bleak. We ignore all the people around us.
The clack from the rails just isn't enough to drown out the droll of your voice. I have no desire to be near you, being stuck here wasn't my choice.
Why do people on trains assume that there conversation is interesting enough for everyone to listen to?. Keep your voice down you dullard we aren't intrested!!!.
Going to church doesn’t make you a Christian any more than standing in a garage makes you a car..
Who is worst in the quiet zone of the train, the fool on the mobile talking or the person in the seat opposite tutting, huffing and sighing along with them?.
I sometimes watch birds and wonder “If I could fly who would I shit on?”.
Assassins do it from behind..
A clear conscience is usually the sign of a bad memory..
Light travels faster than sound. Which is why most people appear brilliant until you hear them..
Just got back from my mate's funeral. He died after being hit on the head with a tennis ball. It was a lovely service..
Nothing lasts forever, no matter how sure you may be. Hold on and cherish each moment, and never forget about me. A time will come when I leave you, a time will come when I've gone.
I start a new job in Seoul next week. I thought it was a good Korea move..
Statistically, 6 out of 7 dwarves are not Happy..
Having spent the day there, I can confirm it is indeed big and smokey!.
Apparently that big bang wasn't god's anger at me!. I knew she couldn't really see what I was doing alone in the bathroom!.
Some days I am the pigeon, so days I am the statue... Today.... Statue!.
The Grim Reaper came for me last night, and I beat him off with a vacuum cleaner. Talk about Dyson with death..
My daughter asked me for a pet spider for her birthday, so I went to our local pet shop and they were £70!!. Blow this, I thought, I can get one cheaper off the web..
My friend is so thick, last time he got lost in thought we had to send out a search party for him..
I can't help being insensitive, I am a man. It's genetic. By me..
When we met I was elated. Now I see you so deflated. Our relationship has hit a juncture. I never dreamt you’d get a puncture. You made me feel so alive. The morning that you did arrive.
Be alert... The world needs more lerts..
So I saw this bloke putting some boxing gloves in a suitcase, and I thought blimey he can pack a punch..
I was walking past a field last week where a load of cows where running and falling to there knees. My mate looked worried. I said its ok, there just grazing..
Last night I dreamt I had my back to a boulder while a fish with a knife shouted at me!. Why am I always stuck between a rock and a hard plaice?!?.
We all know the story of Mary and that of the virgin birth Of Wiseman, stables and donkeys and when Jesus did walk the earth We know of the Holy Father and the son who died for our sins But nothing...