If...part twenty
If...you drive over a pot hole in a road, it make a hole in both your tyre and wallet...just saying..
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20 words
zimbugel
20
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Stories by @zimbugel (20)
If...part nineteen
If...you are waiting for a train, you need to be on a platform...just saying..
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14 words
If...part eighteen
If...you find a killer whale in your garden pond, either the seas have risen or the land has fallen into the sea...just saying..
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23 words
If...part seventeen
If...you happen to pass a boy and a girl coming down a hill with a pail of water, be aware that one of them may ask you to be a witness for an injury claim...just saying..
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36 words
If...part sixteen
If...it is raining very hard, once it has stopped it may be wise to check the gutters for cats and dogs...just saying..
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22 words
If...part fifteen
If...it is the day of your patron saint and you decide to go out dressed in a suit of armour on top of a white stallion whilst holding a jousting lance.
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48 words
If...part fourteen
If...you want to believe that we all live in a miraculous place, use a teaspoon and dig up some soil. That teaspoon will have more living organisms than the entire human population.
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40 words
If...part thirteen
If...a clock strikes thirteen on a dark and thunderous night, a clock specialist should be called to inspect the mechanics on a clear sunny day; do not, under any circumstance, try to fix in the dark...
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41 words
If...part twelve
If...a picture paints a thousand words, what does a digital picture taken by the paparazzi after a celebrity leaves a nightclub at twenty past three in the morning paint?.
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29 words
If...part eleven
If...little girls wear red hoodies whilst walking through the woods, they should always check their grandmother's beds for sleeping lupines. Be they wolves or flowers..
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25 words
If...part ten
If...it is too big for a moon and someone has a bad feeling about it, it is probably best not get dragged into some fictional space opera about a planet demolishing weapon of mass destruction..
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35 words
If...part nine
If...you have found heffalumps and woozles on a woodland walk, you are obviously stuck in a fictional story within a factual wood..
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22 words
If...part eight
If...you were to count snowflakes, do you start with the points or the edges, just asking?.
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16 words
If...part seven
If...you catch fireflies don't try to light a fire with them, they may have just cause to be upset with you..
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21 words
If...part six
If...you cut down trees along the Hudson Bay you may be a lumberjack but you don't have to wear women's clothing at night. But it might help, according to the Book of Brian..
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33 words
If...part five
If...one counts the stars to pass the time, one must take time to realise that some of those stars may have already died by the time their light has already been counted.
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40 words
If...part four
If...you can't hear due to a build up of wax within a drum, it may be time to go and see a nurse to get the aforementioned matter sucked out..
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30 words
If...part three
If...you reach the summit, it is only downhill until you reach the new challenge..
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14 words
If...part two
If...you want to find out a person's shoe size, you need to look at their soul..
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16 words
If...part one
If...people were thoughts and thoughts could fly, there would be many flying thoughts trapped in the atmosphere..
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17 words