...Even if you miss, you'll land among the stars.”
Saturday, 20/10/12
As you may know, (from reading my previous blog entry) that today is moving day for my partner. You may also know from, said blog entry, that we both have several hesitations surrounding our compromise to live apart.
Today was as immediately grim as I thought it would be. The experience of 'new house' shopping nearly brought me to tears on several occasions. I never thought walking round Ikea could be so tortuous. I hated myself for being so utterly selfish and inconsiderate and was an emotional mixture of scathing self-hatred and utter misery. Against the threat of flooding tears, I held back expressing my utter devastation that I couldn't be a complete part of all of these new experiences. I knew I was being terrible company but I was trying desperately to be positive, knowing at some point in the next three days I'd have to say goodbye and be alone during the week. It highlighted to me my obvious, shocking dependency (I'd always felt I was fiercely independent) and also realisation of how important my partner is in my life. It was a humbling realisation because for such a long time I'd tried to take the 'weight off' metaphorically in our relationship.
But, I digress, I don't wish to become repetitive.
Ironically, I received some extremely good news on Friday regarding my prospects for the future.
Last Wednesday, an act of blind ambition, saw me apply for an extremely desirable internship. The key roles being something I know I am capable of doing. But the company is an extremely famous and luxurious brand. So to apply felt very silly but I did anyway.
And, in the spirit of the title of this blog, I have an interview on Monday. So, maybe the quote is right?
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