27 April 2012
After doing this job for so long, I feel obliged to pass on some of the wisdom my clients possess when it comes to relationships. Due to having a very happy and stable marriage I haven't felt the need to use any of these seduction techniques but I'm assured they work, especially if you are 'soul mates.'
1- Call her in the middle of the night to ask if she's sleeping. If she is say "you better be", repeat this 4 or 5 times until morning. This will show her you care.
2-When she asks how she looks, shrug and say "could be better" this will keep her on her toes, and girls love that.
3-Tell her you're taking her out to dinner. Drive for miles so she thinks it's going to be really special. Then take her to a burning tyre yard. When she starts to get upset tell her you were just kidding and now you're really going to take her to dinner. Then drive her home. When she starts crying and asks why you would do something like that lean over and whisper very quietly into her ear "...because I can."
4- Take her out to dinner. Right when she's about to order interrupt and say "No she's not hungry". Make her watch you eat. Girls love a guy that speaks for her.
5- Look her in the eyes and smile. Then clock her one. Girls love a spontaneous guy.
6- Take her to a party. When you get there she'll have to go to the bathroom (they always do). Leave immediately. Come back right when the party's dying and shout at her the whole way home for ditching you at the party.
7- If you're talking to another girl, make sure she's looking. When she is,stare into her eyes mouth the words 'fuck you' and grab the other girls arse. Girls love a bit of competition.
And finally... 8- play with her hair. Play with it HARD.
Wooing The Ladies • Opuss № I