Goldfish?

@OllieBoyne

Dyslexia

"I put the 'sexy' in Dyslexia".

@stuff_n_fluff

Mushu

“A loser. How bout' I pop off one of ya antenna and toss it across the yard. Then who's the loser?” - Mushu.

@priyashashri

Teacher- you've made so many careless mistakes on this test!. Me- no, I'm pretty sure the mistakes were careful. No reply from teacher..

@XxFaithxX

"Sorry, I'm allergic to bullshit." - Will Smith.

@ida_

We are born naked, wet and hungry. Then things get worse..

@ida_

Children

You spend the first 2 years of their life teaching them to walk and talk. Then you spend the next 16 years telling them to sit down and shut-up..

@blissfully_me

Quote

It depressed me to see anyone look that good in the early morning, and it was particularly depressing in view of the way I looked, which, I'm sure, was ghastly. Or shitty, to use the polite term.

@priyashashri

Went to the doctor today, found out I was born with too much awesomenes. Most common side affect, an over abundance of HATERS. Turns out I'm gonna survive..