Graham Norton

@mpallister24

Doctor Doctor I'm so ugly what can I do about it. Hire yourself out for Halloween parties!.

@dewday0483

A barking dog is more useful than a sleeping lion.

@OpheliaMargaret

Confessions Of A Recovered Whore

When another guy comes near me, I get a new feeling. It's not you, And I know it.

@jactheninja

Old Come-backs

My mate said an old come-back yesterday when I said she was born on the motorway where accidents happen. Hers was so old that when I heard it I almost fell of my dinsaur !!.

@Kinuthia

Imagine

No hell below us, Above us only sky, Imagine all the people, Living for today. Imagine there's no countries, It isn't hard to do, Nothing to kill or die for, And no religion too.

@Penno

To You

Violets are blue Roses are red I need a poo Right on your head....

@eyes5ib

Can you get cornered in a round room. From KiK.

@lucimaeprudence

I'm Hers and She's My God

Sometimes I wonder what God planned for me;I mean I know God has never ever made a mistake but everything I touch, I break and She keeps giving but I only take and take so I wonder if I even fit in.