Love Hurts Part One

My friends and family, they try to tell me that at my age there is only one man you can trust with your heart, your dad, but then they remember even he can't be trusted when it comes to my dad.
He started cheating on my mum just after I was born, he was never there for us, always with that girl that meant more to him then us or when he was with us, drunk.

I was the one that actually found out he was cheating. One night I was worried incase dad left us again, no why am I calling him dad its Phil it will always be Phil, incase Phil left us again and of corse he left,he did the same the next night, and the next and the next until I got bored of letting him leave. One night when he was leaving I followed him out, but I lost his track and went to the only place I know he would go, the pub. When I finally arrived I saw my father, with his bosses wife doing something I had never expected to see... They were making out... Not hiding there feelings for each other in in that horrid place that always smelt of beer, wine, drugs, tabasco and vomit. I was only fourteen and I was distraught. I yelled every bad name under the sun at him and even repeated most of them in German just because I could and when you say bad words in German they sound more harsh, then I slapped him and said something that I new would stick with him forever, a single sentence that would tell him how much his own daughter despised him "You are not my father, you never will be, never ever again, I hate you, I hope you are never happy again you, horrible, horrible man, goodbye Phil." a tear fell as I turned away realising that I just disowned my father.

But I don't listen to them I just fall in love with any boy that I think I can trust and then comes the hurt. I hurt myself by not listening, regret it and then repeat it all over again with only one mistake, I don't listen but there is one good thing about my father cheating. It taught me that no one can be trusted and deep down I still know that, I just don't want to.