Another Nightmare: Something's Coming

Why is it that everytime I have these bad dreams she's there? Why is it that every single time, I feel like I'm trapped in a hell-hole and there's no way out? There's always just this incredible, consuming and overbearing pain that is taking my soul for its own and there ain't nothing I can do to stop it...

I'm somewhere far away and I return, alone to my family, but I feel like God's going to take one of the most important people in my family from me; and there's this black cloud following us around under the sunshine and through the markets and in my head I know there's something more, something more sinister following us. So I repeat the Lords name hoping it will help but the fear is like a pillow over my nose and an iron rope around my heart, squeezing, becoming tighter and it all hurts, it hurts so bad.

And then they tell me I'm not allowed to sleep because it will come for me so I'm just wandering the hallways of 93 Cromwell Grove, re-picturing my childhood, wishing I was that little girl again and next thing I know we're forced to sit around the same table and everyone knows that everything that happened is because of her but no one will say anything. I sit there and I'm crying uncontrollably, screaming out in pain knowing its me next, and I know the pains not just in that nightmare but in real-life too; I know my spiritual self is connected so strongly to my physical self at that point and God wants me to know something but most of he all he wants me to pray again, and I'm telling them all I will but they look at me silent and pitying knowing that my time is coming too...

I grab the knife and slice a massive hunk from their anniversary cake, pick it up with my bare hands and throw it down in a plate; I don't know how I'm managing this as I'm still sobbing, still screaming, the tears still flowing in their waterfalls down my face. I can see my beautiful grandmother sat there, and him and her and the OTHER her; my eyes come to rest on her and the sobs are still racking my chest, splitting my soul and I'm screaming at her, screaming like I've never screamed before...

"You! YOU KILLED MY ABUJI! YOU KILLED MY FATHER, MY DADDY AND WE KNOW YOU KILLED HIM TOO AND NOW ME! WHY US? WHY ME? WHY THEM?"

I'm screaming so loud in my dream I'm aware my unconscious physical real-life self can hear the screams, and I'm trying to wake myself up but I can't; it's like something's sat on me forcing my eyes and mouth closed while in there they're anything but. I don't know what it is and why, but I know it all means something and God's my friend, he likes to let me in on these morbid little secrets but it's so much for my mind to take and I feel my head will split open any moment from the monsters clawing their metal cages.

Somebody's time is coming again. I'm so frightened; I don't think I could survive the pain of another one of my loved ones leaving which is why I pray it's me.

I wonder if I'll sleep tonight.