What does being happy feel like? 'cause I sure don't remember. It's such a distant, vague memory, slowly blurring and floating further and further away each day.
And I'm grateful for everything I have and I'm excited about so much more yet to come; and I smile and laugh a whole lot more, and I know who I am after finally finding the real me after losing the person I used to be, but still...
Still there's something missing, and it feels like there always will be.
People are misconceived to believe that happiness is contentment. It's not.
I'm content but I'm not happy. Once upon a time in a land far, far away from everything I know now, I remember thinking I was happy but I don't remember thinking I was content.
Maybe the real truth lies in the fact you cannot actually have both? Maybe they're both just as good as each other, or maybe in reality they're the same thing.
Maybe I truly don't know either.
It's baffling when you think about it.
Maybe I'm not even living in reality which is why I sense this torn hole right here beneath my skin.
There is certainly something missing, that's for sure. I just don't know how to get it back.
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