Texas Girl (Pt 61)

OhMiGod. Just OMG. This is the most dramatic yet. I swear. I think you'll find this one worth the wait! ;)

Drew's POV
Justin stared at me, his eyes burning with the explosion of emotion you could clearly see he was feeling right now. His hands shook vigorously with nerves and shock, although his muscles were tensed and ready to be hit by a two tonne lorry. He'd already begun to sweat through his grey long sleeve tee, his black jeans casually hung low over his waistline. I looked up at his bruised eye, jaw, and nose. I couldn't even find him attractive right now. He was much too scary to look sexy in any way.
I didn't know what to say. His words had cut like knives, digging into my raw flesh so deep it sliced the veins in half, my heart immediately failing at the spouting loss of vibrant red blood. My skull began to thump, as it did when I was upset or under stress, the pain coursing through my entire head, and even making its way down to the back of my neck. My skull was on fire, first singeing and then roaring up into excruciating flames of pain.
I made my first noise; a whimper, and Justin didn't like it.
"Don't you dare try and fake out of this one Drew, I won't let you" he spat at me, hands balled into white-knuckled fists. I gave no verbal response, but the look in my eyes was begging, willing and pleading him not to make me face the facts.
I'd been putting this off for so long. I honestly think I knew the first time I was sick, and when I suddenly began craving every scrap of overly-lovey attention I could get from Justin.
That's what I wanted right now. I wanted love, affection. Someone to tell me it was all ok.... Not just somebody... I wanted Him.
He stepped forward and crouched down right in front of me, eyes alit with rage. I found it hard not to be petrified as he took my wrists in a vice-like grip, staring at me from underneath dark black lashes.
"Drew, are you, or are you not, pregnant?" he breathed an attempted effort to keep his calm, and I think I was the only one of us that knew it hadn't worked.
My lip quivered and refused to speak the words he longed to hear, even though it would probably make him throw a Godzilla-like tantrum.
"Well, which one is it?" he snapped, his grip on me tightening for a brief, painful second.
I choked back the tears, knowing he'd get furiously angry if I let them fall, and built up the courage to reply:
"No, I'm not".
Wrong answer.
He stood in a flash, sharply yanking me closer to stare deep into the pit of flames that was his gaze. I let out a cry as my wrists began to thump at the pain he had just caused me, unable to hold back the tears any longer. They spilled down my cheeks, hot and salty as they dripped down onto the bare skin of my legs.
"Don't make me ask you again" he glared at me, his eyes no longer a nutty, hazel-brown, but as black as the darkest, most hellish night.
My whole body had begun to sweat. As tears ran down my cheeks, perspiration ran down my back and neck.
His grip got tighter and tighter by the second, my wrists feeling like they were about to fall off from loss of circulation.
"Ow, Justin, you're hurting me" I whined, trying to struggle back from him on the bed. He refused to let go, or let me move away, but he didn't even have to tighten his grip to stop me; although I'm sure he wanted to.
"Shut up! Answer my fucking question Drew!" he screamed at me, and it felt like a bomb had gone off in my brain, shattering my skull to a million tiny pieces. I wished to clutch my head with my hands, but I couldn't, as he still had me restrained.
I couldn't take it anymore. I just had to blurt it out. Maybe then the pain would stop. If I just verbally threw up what I'd been holding down for days and days, my head would mend itself, my heart would beat at a normal pace, my wrists would magically heal with a flourish.
Just do it.
"I don't know for sure..." I cried softly, wishing he'd let go of me now. My wrists hurt like crazy, and his grip only got tighter.
"Have you done the test?".
"No...".
"Why not?!? Didn't you read the signs?" he shouted again.
"W-well, y-yeah but, I just, I didn't want to-" I stuttered, but Justin was soon fed up with my clumsy words. His grip got tighter.
"You didn't want to what?" he spat, and I swear I thought he might hit me in that moment. I had flashing images of his hand raised high above his head, ready to wham down and smash me across the cheek.
But then I remembered who I was talking to. It was Justin, even if he wasn't exactly him right now, and I wouldn't be either if I found out my fiancé was hiding her (unconfirmed) pregnancy. He was sweet, and loving, and caring, not to mention the most handsome guy on the planet.
He'll understand, I'm sure of it.
"I didn't want to have a baby... In general" I whispered, staring down at my wrists, clasped in his hands. I could already see a purple shade of bruising edged where his hands were implanted.
His face fell, all anger disintegrating. He released me, and fell to his knees, staring up at me in utter hurt and confusion.
"You don't want a baby with me?" he muttered, lips already carved into a frown.
"What? No! It's not that I don't want a baby with you, it's just that I don't want another baby at my age... I'm not ready Justin" I wiped away a tear, and slid onto the floor in front of him, crossing my legs where I sat. His face fell into his hands. It looks like I hurt him more than he hurt me.
I glanced down at my wrists. I look like I've been abused. They were black and blue already, and I secretly formed a plan to put on a long sleeve shirt before going back into the living room.
"You don't want our baby... Right now?" he looked up, trying to come to terms with what I had just told him. He looked suicidal. Oh god, what have I done? No going back now. I just have to make him understand, make him see it from my point of view.
"Well, no... I will want a baby with you someday, but just... Not now... Not this baby".
That came out wrong. That came out really wrong. I sound like a baby killer.
"What, so, this baby isn't good enough for you?" he frowned, his tone hinting the anger that was about to roar up inside him.
"I didn't mean it like that Justin, I just meant I didn't want a baby at this moment in time" I tried to make amends for my foolish, unthought-through words, my tone desperately trying to make him understand. He wasn't so willing to listen.
"So you want an abortion then?" he said the words as if they left a bad taste in his mouth, slowly but surely working his way back into a standing position. I stood too, hating the feeling of being smaller than him.
"Well, yes... Is that a problem?".
"Is it a problem?" he repeated me twice, his eyebrows raised so high they could probably hit the ceiling.
"Drew, an abortion is like killing a child. I don't believe in abortions. I'm a Christian. If you get pregnant, that's the way it's supposed to be".
Ohhhh right. I forgot about that. Justin believes in God, and does not believe in abortions. He thinks that everything happens for a reason, and that if you have an abortion it's like killing a fetus.
"W-wait, so you're forcing me to have a baby I don't want?" I spat, suddenly fueled with anger at the sound of his dominant words.
"But it's not just a baby Drew, it's our baby" he retorted as we battled for each other to see it from the opposite side.
"Yeah, so, it should be our decision wether we keep it or not. You can't just decide all for yourself Justin, it's my body that's going to change". I kept my voice calm and reasoning, trying to be as mature as was needed for the situation at hand. Shouting was going to get us nowhere, and I knew that if I started mouthing off at him, he'd never agree to an abortion.
"That's what you're worried about? Your body? Are you kidding me? You don't want our baby because you don't want your body to get all the things that come with it?".
Ugh. He's annoying me now.
"Too late for that, I've already had one, in case you forgot. I've been through it before Justin, all of it, and I don't want to do it again. I just don't. I don't want a baby".
I was crying all over again, breaking down into hysterical sobs of despair. I hung my head in my hands and fell down to my knees, not caring that Justin could see my every move. I let my body wrack with tears and cries, tucking myself up into a tight ball, as if I could block everything and everyone else out.
A warm arm wrapped around my shoulders and pulled me close, and I inhaled the sweet scent of Justin's chest as he curled me up cozily in his lap.
"Last time this happened to you, you were young, and had nobody to help you. Both of those things have changed. Ok, so you're not that much older, but you're mature enough to make your own decision about marriage, and this time, you're not alone... You have me" he whispered into my head as he tucked me up in his lap.
No matter how sweet his words were, they didn't change my mind.
I did not want a baby. I did not need a baby. I have India, and she was extremely difficult when she was younger, but she's better now, and she's all I need. I don't need another screaming, crying, yelling baby that will ruin my life for approximately two years until they realise that bedtime isn't so bad after all.
I don't want one.
I do not. Want. A baby.
"Justin, I don't want this baby" I stated, the tears suddenly stopping and confidence taking over. Justin also became serious once more.
"Drew, I want this baby" he mocked me slightly, but there wasn't a hint of amusement in his tone. He was completely serious.
"You can't make me have the baby Justin" I spat, my grip on his t-shirt loosening as I felt less and less need for him by the second.
He gritted his teeth, and briefly glanced around the room, before staring back down at me, his eyes lit up like the lowest circles of hell.
"Watch me" he spat, and let me tumble off his lap as he stood, and stormed out of the room.
I hate him. I hate him.
I stood up, and slammed the door so hard I swear people in China could have heard it. I heard Justin throw a tantrum at my bratty-ness, and gave a small triumphant smile.
I am not having a baby, and there is nothing he can do to make me.

Next part possibly tonight!!! Drew xxx