That Feeling, That Just Won't Go Away

When people you thought we're mates do things you never expected them to do. Example?
When you're 'best friend' pulls a guy you liked when you liked him for a year and a half and he didn't like you back. Going a year and a half knowing he didn't care for you as much as you cared for him. But still all she said was 'It was just in the moment thing, sorry' when it only happened when you were out the room. And didn't tell you herself, and took her 20 minutes after the sit off to decide to talk to you because 'she didn't want to be alone with you'.
But you forgave her.
When you know that if it ever came to it, all your friends would pick to be with boys over you. As you discovered when a couple of 'friends' were going to uninvite you to a sit off because they wanted more boys and could only have a certain amount of people.
When you went to see your friends ex boyfriend even though he was your best friend. And then have people constantly texting you, telling you your sly and didn't have a right to see him. And then being told, your an ugly slut by some girl you don't know and have never met. I am no where near a slut/slag as I have only ever kissed a boy. Like any of my other mates, who's priority in life is to do stuff with as many boys as possibly and make a list of the boys names. Having your 'best friend' (the girl who's boyfriend it was) telling people she wanted to slap you, that you weren't pretty and that you were a bitch.
You forgave her.

The feeling that no matter what you do will never be good enough. The feeling that no matter how much you trust people they will ALL let you down. The feeling when you truly believe that all you friends are better than you, because that's how they act. That's the feeling that never goes away.