The Black Sheep

Throughout my life, I have always been the outsider; the black sheep of the family and of mainstream life. Mr brother had always done well in sports. My sister with her straight A's. Then there is me; no goals; a total disappointment in the eyes of my family.
That, however, was until I met Amber.
I wasn't this quiet shy boy anymore. I wore a smile on my face from ear to ear twenty four hours a day. I started to go out more, come down when family visited, actually spoke to my family. I was no longer a recluse.
Me and Amber spoke almost all day, every day. When I got home from college, we spoke for two hours, then I would have my dinner and Amber would go on a special visit with her mother for two hours. She never told me what they were. But when she got back we spoke again. Absence really does make the heart grow fonder.

"So who's this new girl your seeing?" my step-father asked. "Is she blind?"
"Her name is Amber and she has two fully functioning eyes thank you very much and we are in love!" I replied.
"Love? Don't make me laugh, you don't know the meaning of the word!" he looked around at my mum for some encouragement, but she looked away.

That night me and my family sat round the table and had dinner as a family, first time for a long time, I can assure you. I sat like a Cheshire cat whilst eating my pasta. I could feel eyes burning into my skull, but I didn't give a care in the world.
"What's up with Bruce Forsyth over here?" my brother yelled across the table.
"He's in love" my mother replied with a hastily look towards my step-father.
"It's not love!" he replied whilst spitting food everywhere. "She feels sorry for you, obviously"
Normally this would upset me but I really did feel like I was on top of the world. I just left the table, thanking my mother for dinner and walking up the stairs to my room.
My phone rang, it was Amber.
"Hello!" I spoke softly.
"Hi"
"Are you okay Amber?"
"Yes...are you?"
"What's the matter?"
"Nothing, I'm fine"
"No your not, what's up?" there was a long pause and before I could say anything she spoke.
"Promise me you won't get upset"
"Well that depends what you say" my smile started to fade. "Would it be better if I came to see you?"
"No!" she shouted. "Look, you know these 'special visits' me and my mum go to?" she asked. I nodded as if she could see me.
"Well, they are not much fun, for either of us?"
"I'm sure you can find something to do that is fun" I replied.
"No, you don't understand, these trips...neither of us want to go, but we have to...we have to try and make things better"
"Your mum is a nurse, she will help"
"She can't help, it's me, she can't help me"
"I will help you, I'll always be there for you Amber, I love you"
"No, nobody can help me. I'm sick"
"I'm sure your mother will have some sort of medication for you?" I naively replied.
"Your not listening, I'm dying...I haven't got long to live"

Tears started falling down my cheeks and the phone was loosing grip. I froze. I couldn't speak. My tongue was glued to the inside of my mouth.
"Hello?" amber asked.
"H...el...lo..." I replied. Then there was just silence.
"Say something" she wept.
"Your mother....she's a nurse. She can make everything better..."
"No"
"...Like when you fell over when you were little and she bandaged your leg for you"
"No"
"Or when you put your hand under the hot tap"
"It doesn't work like that, I'm too late"
"She always makes things better"
"It's too late, I'm going tomorrow..."
A lump in my throat was about to emerge, my hand was shaking. I dropped the phone.
"I love you" came from it as it bounced on the floor. Then she was gone. She hung up. My life was over. Floods of tears swept over my cheeks and rolled into my mouth and down my neck. I was physically broken.

There was a knock on my bedroom door, I ignored it. Then there was another knock. I went to open it, and my mother was standing there.
We looked each other in the eyes. She knew. She threw her hands around me and hugged my tightly whilst I sobbed. I dug my nails into her bag and I would not let go. She stroked my hair as tears fell down her cheeks and splashed on to the back of my neck. I closed my eyes rather hard in hope that it was all a dream and that I would wake up in Amber's soft arms...

...J S Kay...