The Little Girl I Used To Be

I'm just sitting here, inside my head, staring at these big walls inside my mind.

Built out of guilt and out of sorrow, built out of lost hope and lost plans for a better tomorrow.

They paint pictures of a person most awful and unkind, but that's not how I really am inside.

Beyond the hurt, the pain and loss, is a little girl who loved the swings, aged only 7 she read her first book un-aided, sitting in a class room at her own desk, wondering when the bell for the end of play would ring.

A child full of hope and wonder, even though the constant counclers and seclusion brought her down.

This little girl was a beacon of light, brighter than the sun, a blinding light.

So where did she go?

Years went by and things got tougher, her happy little mind could not cope with the strain, so she snapped. Age 9 she snapped.

So now this little girl is nothing but a memory, a photograph in a photo book, a folder full of work and art. Her drawings all with suns in the corner.

And to this day I can see her, walking by herself, enjoying the sunshine with her favourite book and a packet of marshmallows

One day I hope she comes back, full of Optimism and grace.

One day she'll come back