Changes & Inner Childs

He smiles at me from far away. He laughs at my strange jokes which I end up including in my talk for nonsense reasons. He listens to love songs when I'm around. He stands up for me. He doesn't want to hit me even if it was a part of some game.

Still, I can't say what he thinks of me. I know what I think of him, it's pretty obvious. And it's been so long. I wonder if he's still the same, because I am mostly.

I didn't really think of these things for a long time. Until I found out this one thing. Someone else is interested in him, too. It's not a trouble really, but I kind of had to wake up back in the real world - time has passed and we've all grown, anyone could pick him up.

But the fact that this 'anyone' had to be someone dear to me is confusing. It's not that big deal... but still confusing. I wish it was anyone else. Because life would be so much easier if I could get him out of my mind once in a while. Now this person keeps reminding me of him all the time, since there's not much else on their mind... They're obsessed with him. I must say I'm not, or if I am it's in a sensible level. I don't need to own him to be happy. I don't even need to see him to be happy. If he was my only key to happiness I'd be totally lost. He's simply an amazing person in my opinion, and I'd love to make him happy. Not the other way round. Still, I accepted this very easily, like "Ok, we need more positive feelings in this world anyway! Go ahead, adore him!"

All this makes me think. How much do we change over the years? I haven't changed too much I would say. My outlook has, and my thoughts have become clearer and I've become wiser maybe, but the most inner things what make me myself have not changed at all. One Tears For Fears' song in which they sing "Does she see my inner child?" makes me think of the same question, maybe in a totally different context though. Does he still see the things in me that I did and said as a child? All that enthusiasim, positivity, open-ness and idealism? Can I see his inner child? Or has he changed? Can that other person who's into him see his inner child at all?