My Pep Talk

Sometimes, things don't turn out the way you want them to. For example, you might want to be the happiest person alive and end up clinically depressed when half your family move to New Mexico and put you up for adoption. You might want to be the best person in the world and end up living in a cell in London for first degree murder. You might want to live forever and end up suicidal. You then might try to commit suicide and end up being 'saved' by a peppy Zealot from the local church. You might very well then find yourself spending the rest of your days in a cold, white room in a mental institute surrounded by unicorns and purple prostitutes where all you can do is count the days until last Christmas and wait for the grass to finally turn green, asking yourself whether you now think like Ke$ha or a box of fibre rich cereal. Your grave will be a penguin from Oxford and you will find yourself surrounded by various carpetings. Now, are you feeling better about your life? I know, I'm great at pep talks, aren't I?