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Love Story- Please Read

This poem has come from heart. Please could you give me your opinion on it and could you please repost if you like it.

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He looks into my swollen eyes,
He is shocked with such a surprise.
Tears rollin off my face,
Dropping at a fast pace.

He strokes my hair out if the way,
So I can see in this not so good day.
He gives me a cheerful smile,
The ones I haven't seem for a while.

He holds me close to his chest,
I can feel them tightly pressed.
He looks deep into my soul,
And finds its crumbling coal.

He wipes away my tears,
As if they were my fears.
He smiles at me again once more,
He kisses me hard to say I'm adored.

His hands grip around my hips,
He tells me with his lips;
That I am his and only his,
He then deals it with a passionate kiss.

But in reality that is not what it is like,
It punctures my chest with a disappointment spike.
To know that you treat me,
How no one should be.

But still I love you that's all I can say,
There's nothing else I need to pay.
My love should satisfy you,
Otherwise I dot have a clue.

Your the one who keeps me strong,
Without you my life would be wrong.
You keep me breathing night and day,
But it doesn't seem to be the same.

It looks like you can live without me,
Maybe I'm better going to the places I want to see.
Maybe being with you isn't real,
It sounds like it was just some kind of deal.

I trusted you with my heart,
I did from the start.
Keep our hearts enlaced together,
For ever and ever.

RandomGirl

@RandomGirl

I write what's inside my heart.

100
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Comments & Feedback (18)

Very sweet and very sad 😢 I do hope it's not how you're really feeling....

This is wonderful and heartfelt and emotional... And sad... Brilliant! I agree with@MrsS and hope that you are happy and ok! Xx

I agree with what's already been said apart from a few typos it's really good, flows well telling the story. 💚👏

If it's true, please don't think you need only this one. You won't be valued if you are prepared to wait and hope, that never works you know. But perhaps this is just fiction, I hope so! ☺

@MrsS no it's not but I'm sure many people feel like this xxx

@eddie12309 thank u💜

@crowncottage yes don't worry it's not true. But I am sure many people are experiencing this though💜

It is gorgeous Hun ....really lovely ❤❤❤👏👏👏❤❤❤

@LittleKitten that's good and I'm sure you are right. ☺

Very emotional...bittersweet but lovely❤💚

@misslittleDHP thank you😘💜

@ashhkat thanks❤😘

It's gorgeous 💗

Very nice 👏..I know for a sad fact that people feel like this 😞. Some of it brought back a few things for me

[This comment has been deleted]

I agree with everyone else that its gorgeous but I think you tried too hard to make it rhyme and so words didn't sound right in places. Poems don't have to rhyme, if a rhyme doesn't work get rid of it. The message is more important than whether it rhymes or not.

@sjw @patdolan83 @cookiekitty45 @jeannar987 thank you😄😄💜

Amazing!

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