Orchid

I like to walk. I get a great deal of thinking done when I'm on my own and surrounded by empty fields or darkened by tree shadows in high summer. I love the smell of loam and earthworms and the smell of sunshine in the morning before the day grows hot. Today I waited in for the post man and had a battle of wills. I waited forever for a stupid parcel and didn't get to go out today. I like to pause and listen for birds but there were none today. They're probably home warming their toes like I should be. I feel strange and lonely. I need to come back down to Earth I think. Or I'll float away. It happened once and I very nearly didn't come back down. It's weird. I wasn't frightened until after it was over, that horrible business. But then when it was all done with and neatly swept up and arranged and laundered, I realised life is so precious. It's like a rare orchid dancing tremulously in an arctic breeze. It's beautiful and its going to die very soon. Oh my god you have to enjoy it a whole lot while you're here. I'm sorry all of my posts seem similar in thought. This is the only place I can talk and get things out without scratching at the relationships I have with my friends. I don't want to drag them down so I post this like a note in a bottle. And I hope it reaches people who understand. Night night world. I hope you're warm and happy.