Lost Memories

@ jojo390

I find it hard to remember you,
the memories of a young child
confusion, believing my innocence
was the truth.

A father’s presence, a gentle word
never known, but always missed
were you aware of my insecurity
or sure of my doubts?

I can remember my questions
stabbed so cold they scored my life
answers received so convincingly
brainwashed daughter, father never cared.

A picture of you, and negatives in my memory
from a photograph shown just the once
developing a black and white image
related our blood was entwined.

Self esteem, never known
love was not an emotion shared
years on, as I found my father
reminiscing on the day that we met.

I needed to have my answers
met in the first instance with you
as I have matured into a woman and a mother
now met, you are my father without a doubt.

I remember, all of my anticipation
after years of not knowing who you were
emotions and feelings
overtaking the remembered lies.

I now have a face to the picture
of a memory that once was not met
to my father,I waited for so long to find you
maturity reached, I am no longer that innocent child.