Self Armed

Try to keep it a secret,
but the burden of guilt and secrecy,
is difficult to carry ,as it affects their day to day life and existence.

Its difficult to understand
why do people do it?
How could it make them feel better?
deliberately hurting their own bodies,
and purposefully hiding their scars.

To change their state of mind - so that they can cope better with the "other" pain that they are feeling,
as the physical pain distracts themselves from their emotional pain,
which gives them that false sense of release.

Emotionally the scars inside try to heal ,but they're not visible to the naked eye.
Self harm that shows the outward pain, that counteracts with the invisible emotional pain and a way of dealing with it .

The stigma of self harm creates a poor sense of self worth -
a way to cope with their problems experienced ,but simultaneously creating other serious problems,
that set up an addictive pattern of behaviour, from which it can be hard to break free of
the cutting ,burning ,scalding ,scratching- hurting ,inside and out.

For some ,self harm gives a temporary relief and a sense of control over their lives,
but it becomes a pattern, because they don't know what else that they can do

Most self harm is done in secret and done on parts of the body not visible to others,
and it can be hard for them to find enough courage, to ask for the help that they desperately need.

People feel guilty and ashamed, they become withdrawn, quiet, washed out and lack energy.
Look out for some of the signs.
Don't judge them, as they need to experience care, honesty ,trust and the love to take them through.

Don't condemn them, don't show your revulsion,don't feel shocked, angry, responsible or powerless.
Listen to them, help them work on the solutions to their problems and stresses and help them with their mood and feelings.

They need to have help with coping strategies and distraction techniques.
Start to give them the help that they need and point them in the right direction to get that help.

Self harm is hidden in its many shapes and forms.
Christmas is the one time in the year when people who may be on their own and whose problems are self contained and hidden become over exaggerated, because they have no one to confide in and share their thought processes and feelings with.
It is then that people may feel that they want a way out.
Look out for the signs and don't leave it to late to find out that they are hurting in every way.

At Christmas people need to be around people.
Don't let people be on their own, and look out for others who may emotionally be in less of a safe and secure place then you are.
It may be one of those people,who is in need and too ashamed to ask you for help.

I was one of those people and self harm was one issue compounded and impacted on many other issues and problems that I dealt with alone.
I was told on more than one occasion that I am a survivor,
as the need is to believe that whatever life throws at you ,you can cope and you don't have to be on your own.
Life does get better whilst you can get stronger.

I was just a statistic, a number slipping through and any pain has long since gone and been forgotten,
but the pain that was once there and existed reminded me -
that I was still alive .