Soho Inquisition

[As promised, here is my Allen Ginsberg - inspired rant about Soho. WARNING: contains strong language and graphic imagery. Do not read if you are easily offended and/or a minor in your county of origin. Otherwise, please turn the page to begin.]

Pigeons are positioned
Placed and poised
Like plump, grey plums
In the arms of a tall
Obscene birch mid
Soho Square
Grey and foreboding
As a Ginn Maths textbook:

1(a)
1(b)
1(bi)
1(bii)
1(c)

See, I can't see why
My life can't just be numbered
Not sneaked upon by letters
Lengthening sentences
Into paraplegic graphs

Confused homeless man
Is tazered on the green
By paranoid police
So I'm gaping up
At cranes on a street
South of Oxford
West of Poland
Cresting tea time
Yum
Yum
Chaa

Soho, when will you rescue me
For more than a minute
From your scary
Muted violence
It isn't even spring
For fucks sake

When will I feel as though
These downstairs tearoom havens
Are more than just a luxury
Give me a bloody office, Soho
Give me a murder room
fit for Alan Davies
Filled with rabbits
Gasping and growling
Like dismembered Banquo

Soho, cover me in magic paint
Make me feel special
Or lucky like Levi
I'm bored with discovering
That there's more to you
I want an answer
The theorists can go
bastardise themselves
In my feted basement coffer
They can hang in shackles
Await my reenactment
Of the chainsaw scene
From Scarface

When will I find a brik-a-brak
Nik-nak, odd end jewellery
Dressing up superstore
To satisfy all my inner magpie
I'd love a shit, Tescos
Something filled with things
I actually don't need

Soho, when will it be acceptable
To smell embroidered flowers
Dressed as a geisha again
When will I find Saki's bar of soap
You're full of piss
And myths and legends

Why do you love to antique
The furniture, the records
Coats and stuffed obscure birds
Surprise me and tell me
You've taken up doing nothing
Tell me Time Out is out
Tell me you have to
Go have a wank and
Relax with a footspa

Tell me it's alright
To catalogue things digitally
To press into palmtops
What I lost on the page
With a pen full of nothing

J x