31 August 2012
A broken heart doesn't heal easily, but that doesn't mean mending a broken heart is impossible. Some people just forgets that a heart that breaks comes back even stronger.
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He watched as the sky cries silently. A reflection of himself is blurred in front of him and yet as he stared at it and he sees a different person. There was no smile, just a person who seems lost in another world. All he could hear is his own heart slowly beating and the ever silent splattering of raindrops outside the window.
He used to love the rain. The peace and comforting silence it provides used to give him the perfect peace he always long for whenever he feels like he can't breathe anymore.
But now, it only reminds him of her. Because she loved rainy days too, just like me, he would reason to his ever faithful best friend, Lee Jonghyun, who had been with him through thick and thin when he ask him why he love her too much that sometimes its scary.
That's a weird reason, Yonghwa-yah. And not to mention, too cheesy, Jonghyun would counter. He would just shrug and tell him that when time comes, who knows, maybe he could be worse than him. And the rest, they would just laugh to their heart's content.
She is everything to him. But she didn't know that of course or else she wouldn't have advice him to find someone better and live a happy life because she can't be with him, because a dying person doesn't get to hold on to the people they love who will be left when they it's time for them to leave, she says with a small smile. I'm letting you go... and you should do the same with me. Find someone who will make you smile and love enough. Someone whom you will think about when you're writing songs. Someone who will stay beside you when you're down or whenever you're sick. Someone who will be willing to give you their forever. Someone willing to heal the pain I've caused you... Find someone who will complete you again just like how you complete me, Yonghwa-yah."
He just shook his head and left at that time. How can she tell him to forget that easily? His emotions already out of his control - he cried silently along with the sky burying himself in the darkness where no one would hear nor see him.
It's unfair, he silently whispers to himself shivering as the wind blew past his cold and wet body, everything is. She has to keep it no matter what! It's hers, not anyone's.
It was that day when she left. With no other goodbyes, instead, for the last time, she held his hand and softly muttered a few more words that made his heart ache in no end, I love the rain the way I loved you, and with that she closed her eyes drifting to an unending sleep.
He was left alone with an empty heart.
Without much thought, he got up on his feet walking out of his room making his way out. The door creaked open. Jonghyun was sitting in the couch when Yonghwa suddenly marched out. He stood on his feet as fast as could but before he could even utter a word, Yonghwa was already out of the door.
Jonghyun sighed heavily. It's the rain again, he muttered to himself as he forced himself to sit down again to keep himself from going after Yonghwa. He knew well, of course, why Yonghwa is out of his mind again, it's the rain and her again - for the longest time.
For goodness' sake! It's been two whole years! Let it go, he cursed under his breath. She's not coming back... Shinhye is not coming back... He closes his eyes and leans his back for a small comfort. And for a long time he stays like that until he regains his patience back for his friend hoping he would eventually come back in one piece.
The raindrops now fell rapidly from the sky but he just stood there motionless. Despite the freezing breeze the wind brought- and him only wearing a blue, that's already-wet-shirt, he felt numb. That's what he wanted, anyway.
The cars passed by in a speed of light and he felt everything else around him disappear in a blur.
As another tear escapes his eye, he closes them and take a step but stops immediately when a voice disrupts out of nowhere and he felt a grip around his arm.
"Don't..." the voice says softly. "I'm sorry... but I can't let you."
The sky's tears no longer touched any part of him nor did he feel the cold wind brush. Instead, he felt the warmth of another soul beside him. He turned and found a pair of warm brown eyes boring to his own.
I love rainy days, she whispers mostly to herself but nonetheless he heard her as they sat in distance.
He turns to her unknowingly curious. "Why?"
She smiles and that caught him off guard. "Because... when it rains, it feels like the world pauses for a moment and the world goes still until the only sound I could hear is the beat of my heart and the sound of the rain. It's comforting."
He didn't say anymore nor did she. He understood her almost immediately because he thought the same. The silence between them served more of a comfort than a worry. It's what they both needed, anyway. Somehow, it was enough that they weren't alone for the moment.
And without another word, she stood up on her feet, gave him a small bow and walked away, leaving the umbrella on the bench and him to his own world.
Yonghwa stared at her back until she disappeared at dawn. He found himself thinking of what she said and then his thoughts drifted to his realization that he doesn't even know her name and he hasn't thanked her. And for the first time, without his knowledge, something else bothered him other than his broken heart.
When It Rains 01.1 • Opuss № I