When It Rains 02.2

2 years later...

Then there came the night Seohyun never expected.

That rainy night Seohyun laid wide awake at her bed listening to the humming of raindrops that fell against her window pane. To her, the rain is almost like a song of lullaby that puts her heart to ease and tonight was no different, though this time it's mixed with memories.

Memories she neither wanted to remember nor wanted to forget. After all, those memories were the ones that gave her the life she has now. And she will forever be thankful for them. To him.

She sat up abruptly feeling the beat of her heart fastens once again - one of the things that always happens whenever she thinks about him. And until now, it never felt right to her for whatever reason.

In between the years she had watched over him, there were so many times she came close to breaking the wall between them, wanting to hold on to him tight when she watches him silence drowning himself in solitude. But every time too, she would be reminded that she wasn't her. The heart that beats inside her isn't hers and no matter what it will never belong to her. That's when she would stop. Daydreams were her nightmares because they contained him.

Suddenly she feels suffocated, like there wasn't enough air to breathe on around the room. She stood on her feet, making her way out of the door but stopped midway in the living room when she heard her sister call her out.

"Seohyun-ah, it's late and it's raining. Where are you going?" Yoona asks, as she sat in front of television her gaze on Seohyun.

"I know, unnie. I just feel like getting some air. I'll bring an umbrella, don't worry."

"Are you sure? I'll go with you. Wait.." Yoona got up but Seohyun stopped her.

"No. It's okay! I just...want some air, unnie. I promise. I'll be back right away. Please?" Her sister looked at her for the longest minute and then nodded, her expression mixed with worry and uncertainty.

"Okay. But don't be too long. You might catch a cold."

Seohyun nodded adding a small smile. "Hm. I'll be quick." And with that she made it out of their apartment an umbrella in hand.

The rain poured coming from the dark sky. She could feel the wind touch her skin delicately as world around her quiet down and all she could hear was the raindrops, the cars that passed in a speed of light and the beating of her heart. And just like that, moments passed by with so much solitude she could ever ask for.

Her mind wandered to different parts of her past memories and at most it included him losing himself to reality where she had wanted the most to go back in time and change everything and to take away the pain that causing both of them.

Without even knowing it she stopped on her feet recognizing the figure not too far from where she stood. She blinked as many times she could, her heart pounding, letting every tiny bit of reality in front of her sink in.

The man she had sworn to keep safe stood underneath the pouring rain ready to give up.

In an impulse, she stood behind him gripping her hand around his arm as she covered both of them with umbrella. "Don't...I'm sorry.. but I can't let you." The words that came out of almost didn't sound like her and they sent shiver around her whole being. If she didn't have a grip to hold on at the time, she was almost sure would fall on her knees instantly.

He turned to her. And for the first time since she woke up at the hospital with a new heart she had let part of herself free of anything the moment her eyes found his, drowning in them.

The rain had already stopped moments ago as they sat in silence and she wondered if she was dreaming of him again. In the past, there were time she dreamed of him like this - sitting quietly together during rainy days. And yet, she would never have thought it would go far to reality until now.

"I love rainy days..." She hadn't realized she muttered that out loud until he turned to her questioningly.

"Why?"

She managed a comfortable smile. "Because... when it rains, it feels like world pauses for a moment and everything goes still until the only sound I could hear is the beat of my heart and the sound of the rain. It's comforting."

And it's the truth. Only she wasn't sure he felt the same for he didn't say anymore. The long solitude took over once again. And somehow, all the words she had reserved for him were all forgotten. She didn't think of the past nor the heart that didn't belong to her. Instead, all she could think of is the comfortable silence and the familiar feeling that she belonged there.

That night she left him knowing he will be alright. She didn't know exactly what had felt so right being with him but knowing he was going to be okay was more than enough and nothing else mattered.

She didn't expect to see him the next day (actually, she was hoping not to). And certainly didn't expect the surprise emotion that she had traced the way he looked at her. All mixed with his own curiosity. She didn't know exactly what to feel. And the drumming inside her didn't help at all.

And the words of thanks he had muttered to her made her feel lighthearted despite the weighing guilt that she should be the one saying them to him.

Moments later, she watched him walk away until he disappears in the corner, and only then she remembered how to breathe again.

It started then when she saw him passed by everyday, never missing a single day without a simple greeting of polite bows and smiles. And within those moments it never failed to make her heart take a little leap.

Seohyun knew what those meant, of course. But she also knows that she could only go as far. She learned that in life there were several reasons why people set rules to follow. It wasn't just to make people's life harder or easier. But instead it was to draw lines and limitations between people and things that keeps them from hurting each other.

She grew with them her whole life. And even from the moment she had learned about him, she knew even without drawing a line herself between them, a clear one already existed.

But as time passed by, she doesn't know anymore. Not even where it began nor how it will end.

A week passed, and then another until it was finally a month. She saw him more often then even if they were just glances and polite greetings exchanged. But at the same time, she knew something subtle about her was changing. She thought of him more often than before sometimes wondering about the smallest thing about him. But most importantly, she wondered what he thought of her - if he thought of her. And suddenly everything grew even more complicated when it came to him. That's when she knew she had to stop.

She only seeks forgiveness from him. Not love.