Day Two- A Problem Shared

Ok this is getting better. I think I can do this now. Anyway, before I say what my problem is I'd like to begin by saying that it is a very common one but there is more to it which I can't explain. Basically, there's a guy... Yes I know, it's always the case isn't it? But it's not like other stories, believe me I wish it was. The possibility of a happy ending sounds good right about now. Anyway, this guy... Well he's lovely. He is the most interesting person I've ever met and honestly I love the guy. I know that sounds a bit Romeo and Juliet-esque but believe me, I'm not quite ready to kill myself for our eternal love just yet. Sorry, I'm making this sound stupid. I guess If I don't laugh about it I'll just feel sad and that's not the point of this. The point of this is to release the feelings that have been stored up inside of me for a long time. Right now you're probably thinking. She's just scared of rejection? It's not just that. I'm scared that I could never love him enough, if he loved me back. I feel numb a lot of the time. I find it hard to cry even if I feel miserable. If someone else is sad, I find it hard to be empathetic. I just want to be able to let my emotions out and really feel them. I believe that everything has a reason and the reason I can't just ask this guy out is because of a reason that I will share with you tomorrow. It may take some time to explain it because I want someone to understand it so they can help me. There is also a reason for the reason and a reason for that and so on. REASONS. I wish things didn't have to add up. I wish I could do something and then it would be forgotten about, but it doesn't work like that. Thankyou. Ciao x