5 January 2013
Carlo was not a man to be messed with, he was a camel. He hailed from a sand dune that was located somewhere between Egypt and Jordan. I do actually mean the countries and not glamour models.
Carlo was a special camel. He was special because he had three humps. Carlo was proud of his three humps and had went as far as naming them. He named his three humps Tom, Dick and Harry, yes they all had three names which were exactly the same. The reason for this was so that he did not forget which was which.
One day when it was very hot, which could be any day in Africa, his parents sent him to the corner shop to buy some milk. The cow had broken down and they could not get a repair man out until Evacuation Day, June 28, which was at least one day away.
When Carlo arrived at the shop he was dismayed to discover that the shop had many varieties of milk to choose from. They had cow milk, chocolate cow milk, strawberry cow milk and for some reason coconut milk, which did not taste like coconut.
Carlo picked the regular cow milk and set off back home. Along the way he witnessed many things, many grains of sand, deserts do not have much of anything else really. You all know what sand looks like. I am not going to describe it to you. I could describe Carlo for you but I already have, he has three humps remember. All camels look alike so again I am not going to describe him. He was camel shaped and was not purple. I can not get any more specific than that.
When he returned home after a trek of three and a half minutes he was greeted by the aroma of nothing. His mother, who was also a camel, had not been cooking. She had made stewed nowt. Deep fried zilch. Grilled John Cage's 4′33″ composition.
He was disappointed of course but he had a stash of grass hidden beneath the floorboards in his room. Carlo handed over the milk to his mother and headed upstairs to dig into his supply of grass. After consuming his stash he went downstairs where his mother had prepared a cup of tea using the cow milk he had earlier purchased. Carlo thanked his mother and asked for a biscuit to go with it. Carlo's mother didn't not have any biscuits unfortunately, however she did have a Mars Bar. Carlo declined.
The End.
Carlo Of Arabia • Opuss № I