Flash fiction and random blogs, which may use language not suitable for young people. You have been warned.
This is some news from the past few days. It's not my fault. bbc.co.uk reports "Ancient phallus shaped worm described" - Let me guess, an old penis shaped worm?.
You can have your own opinions but you can't have your own facts. ~ Common sense..
Because people is dumb I thought it was about time that someone created a guide to help people live their lives in a better manner so that they don't die.
( #sundayrepost - Because I love factual based history.
Condiments come in very handy if ever you need to season food. If you don't need to season food then condiments are not very handy at all.
Back in the 1970s when men were men and pandas were pandas and not nearly as endangered as they are today, people were allowed to smoke cigarettes in public without the fear of being shot by people...
Overlong hedgehogs terrorised the quaint shanty towns of the North East of England.
Christianity teaches that God (an invisible man who lives in the sky) sentenced his only son to horrendous torture and then an agonising death just because a talking snake persuaded a woman to eat an...
When I was but a lad of seven I used to sell handbags down market. Sorry, that should be 'I used to sell downmarket handbags'. I am not from Yorkshire I do not know what came over me.
Back in the days of Mars bars and Snickers lived a boy named Frank. His mother gave him his name when he was born although her husband wanted to call him Bruno.
Clandestine potatoes operated outside of the jurisdiction of F.A.R.M. They didn't play by the rules, they made the rules and then they ignored them. The potato unit were hardcore.
When babies are born they are born without religion. There is no God to them, they are atheist.
I tried to write something serious and well, this happened....
I don't touch paper based books these days because apparently doing so will kill polar bears, so I get most of my reading material electronically.
#Sundayrepost James waddled through the threshold into the pitch black corridor. He placed his hands onto the wall to the right of him, using it as a guide and also as a walking aid.
The news from yesterday reported in the style of walruses with selective amnesia.
#100things I am sorry to mislead you. There are in fact only six things listed here.
This is today's tomorrows yesterday's news today. Sponsored by bleach and reasonably priced life insurance for the over fifties.
A bit of today's and yesterday's news mixed with yesterday's news. Wonder if anyone is annoyed yet?. bbc.co.uk reports "Chernobyl hit by roof collapse". - It's hardly a priority is it.
It has been reported that the International Olympic Committee has voted to have wrestling removed from Olympic Games from the year 2020 (or going to vote or will remove it regardless?).
Here is today's today's news that was reported today by various news organisations which I have re-reported?.
Another short story I am working on. In 1863, A First Lieutenant of The Union army (American Civil War) wants to visit the Great Plains before they disappear forever.
Currently drafting a short story. Mexican aircraft crash lands in biblical era Judaea. Only one survivor. Working title 'Ponchos Pilot'..
One upon a time in the land of Bob lived a man named Gary who had a massive dog. His dogs name was Paul, named for the Pope. Paul cost nothing, he was found tied by rope.
Being offended by something or someone does not mean you are a helpless victim of some sort of travesty or grave injustice.
Collegiate condolences. Empty classrooms. Forgotten education and lifetimes. No hop scotch or nursery rhymes. No break times. No gym. No algebra x10. Genuine smiles. Toothy grins. No more school.
Cajun unicorns are rarely seen in public and for good reason. Cajun unicorns are despised by the people of southern New Mexico but not by those from north New Mexico.
#acrostic Words twisted, a subterranean memory. Often true humanity is forgotten. Only those who truly wish to live, Leave and die trying..
Today's today's news today and not tomorrows yesterday's today's news. standard.co.uk reports "Pork DNA found in Halal prison food". -Good.
. #acrostic Adolescent Mother fucker Enrages Randy Imbecile who is Caught Absorbing Nourishing Pale ale In Error..
Yesterday's news today. Because I am not very efficient.
Imprisoned in walls, sixty feet tall. The fear of the known and scared of it all. Not a world to live in, not a happy place. Racing against Death but He can't keep pace.
Today is the day after tomorrow from the perspective of someone from two days ago. Here is today's yesterday's news written yesterday and presented today on the 30th January 2013.
Yesterday was the 28th of January or if you happen to be an American it was also the 28th of January. Today's yesterday's news: •BBC News reports 'Four held after Brazil club fire'.
Words, as we know, can be extremely powerful.
-Not something I world recommend reading to young children, the ending is a bit 'dark' in tone and will likely upset some adults too.
~Based on Wool/Silo Series by Hugh Howey. Obviously not in the same league but I will die trying. See www.hughhowey.com or search Wool Omnibus on Amazon to see why. Feedback welcome. I.
(Originally posted about four months ago. #repost) A prophet in religious terms is a person who has been contacted by God or other supernatural being, that only they can see or hear.
Delusions over who did what How can you blame this on a man who was not?. That man had a family, a mother and a brother. The evidence is there, open your eyes and discover.
Malevolent Atrocities Calculated Holocaust Intravenous Negligence Epidemic Sentience #acrostic.
"Religious apologists complain bitterly that atheists and secularists are aggressive and hostile in their criticism of them.
I love the Internet.
(Originally posted 5 month ago) I cordially invite you to offer me feedback. But I don't want to hear negatives, I don't like that. Say what you want as long as its pleasant.
Praying: it's when you think that you are doing something noble, something that will help others and possibly mankind, but actually just kneeling and talking to yourself..
Not praying: as effective as praying, since before your religion was invented..
(Contains words not suitable for young people) I sit here in something I wouldn't even consider a hole. It's only just lower than ground level.
I don't know if you got my response as you deleted your post. So here it is... again. You can read it if you like and if you wouldn't like to, don't. Harassment?.
Instagram users. Instagram will not be selling your photos. Do not worry.
Veni, vidi, vici. #flashfiction.
I came, I saw, I conquered. #flashfiction.
Follow your dreams, you might wake up dead tomorrow morning and if that happens you will regret not following your dreams. Because you will be dead..
Under twisted metal and the mountains of rubble lived three survivors of calamitous trouble. They scavenged for water, food and company. They had a pet chimpan... monkey.
Continuing my bromidic blog about things what irritate me in the hope that it might irritate you. 1) People who wish someone who does not have twitter a Merry Xmas/birthday etc... on twitter.
Some more of my personal favourites for your viewing displeasure, all in one place.
Sir Ronald of Chesterton was an important figure in the history of the United Kingdom.
If you insist on posting a saying that is intended to be philosophical or profound and meant to stir emotion or cause action, please ensure to meet the following criteria first: • You know what it...
Mob mentality - Is a term to describe how a person can be influenced by their peers to show certain behaviours or to follow trends. ~source, Me and my education or lack thereof..
I cut myself today Accidentally you must understand I was making a cheese sandwich But I butchered my right hand The pain it caused was real A concern for those who saw My wound is pouring out All...
The end of a journey was always the hardest part for Winthorpe, the third Earl of Ramsbottom.
Someone yesterday said they were suffering from writers block and asked for ideas. I gave that person an idea and they did not use it, so I have. Moral of the story, you snooze and you loose.
Some of my favourites. Enjoy!. ______________ Parrots of Sierra Leone "Nuts for sale, nuts for sale.... Who will buy my nuts for sale". Said the old woman sat in her box of cardboard.
Carlo was not a man to be messed with, he was a camel. He hailed from a sand dune that was located somewhere between Egypt and Jordan. I do actually mean the countries and not glamour models.
Aubergine, the heralded scholar from the isles of Iran was perplexed at the size of his feet. Auvergne was an average sized Canary but his feet were at least twice the length of its wingspan.
An old woman resembling a slightly misused hedgehog wandered the maze like aisles of Tesco.
Across turbulent seas and more so land. Foxholes dug into barren ground. Sleeps awake when fear allows. Woken by hellish sounds. Flash bang and tracer fire. Fly by wire reinforcements.
Bright as a button I was as dark as mud Full of life I had an empty soul Volume on eleven But I was stuck on mute A brother to all men But they weren't my own Fantastic imagination It was my...
Legend has it that the first settler was the trees protector. A warrior, returning to his home after a great battle, noticed three men trying to pull down the giant tree. Their reasons unknown.
"He who has lost his shoes does not forget how to walk, the man who looses his house does not loose his home and it does not take a man who shovels manure for a living to recognise bullshit when he...
1. The paint on the brick wall was crumbling.
This was originally written five month ago, but reposted today because... why not, given the circumstances. Just call me psychic. ;) Please repost my Opuss 'Cause I am insecure at best.
Just a blog with some random questions I have came across and my own answers. 1) Evolution can not be, simply because there are monkeys today. - Monkey and man evolved from a common ancestor.
The world today is waking up to news that Christopher Kringle, the inventor of Christmas has disappeared.
#disabilityaware I have a disability But it's one that you can not see It's one where you'd think I was OK But it's not behind the scenes.
In honour of the world not ending today I thought I would make my own predictions for the year ahead. They are guaranteed to be 100% accurate. •Earthquake - an earthquake will happen.
These are some of the things that get on my nerves. The TV weather forecast, tells yesterday's weather. Who is this for exactly?.
Statues lying down All without warmth of shelter Bitter cold freezes.
Virtual life gone To continue please press start Player two ready.
Some Christians argue that atheists, not believing in God and by extension Jesus, should work on Christmas Day and not celebrate it. They also ask why we would call Christmas, Christmas.
Conspiracy theories were created to cover up the coverups that the conspiracy was created to cover up.
St Nicholas, aka Santa Claus, is the patron saint of thieves. Now you know why he can get in and out of your house without you ever noticing him..
Parsnips for dinner Parsnips for lunch Parsnips for breakfast Parsnips for brunch Parsnips for Easter And parsnips for lent Parsnips for Christmas And parsnips again Parsnips for president And...
Behold, I am invisible..
Greater than most but less than many Subtract the hate and multiply envy The square root of none He's not Pythagoras theory A digit on his own not divisible by any.
A raging storm Never ceases Ship abandoned Broken pieces Shipwrecked slumber Torn asunder Without shelter Worst not over A wrecked captain Devoid of crew An empty mess He's hollow...
Night beats day until the sun rises Sun brings light that nighttime despises Breaking dawn, breaking the habit Falling into darkness following habit Death beats life until resurrection Death looses...
Asphyxiant and last words Battle for breath Only toxic words are left Content to let Let bygones be dead Buried in the depths Best left unsaid Words painted red.
When you've suffered enough And your heart has been broken And there's no place left to go Remember my love And all that you are Destiny will guide you home With love, peace, my child Love, peace,...
Deck the halls with greed and envy, Fa la la la la la la la la 'Tis the season to watch some telly, Fa la la la la la la la la.
Getting ready to go to church, no the mosque, no wait...
Jude Law, in every film ever. Fact..
I tried to catch a plane today. I failed miserably. Those things are quite massive and heavy as feck. To celebrate this, yesterday, I decided to go to a fiesta.
I was eating a dish at a restaurant and the waiter told me not to, he informed me that they have food on their menu. The reason I was at the restaurant was to investigate their chairs.
The ice caps are melting and it is an indisputable fact. Scientist do not need to work very hard to solve this problem. In fact, the problem was solved years and years ago.
I was walking along a short beach yesterday and I noticed a seagull flying above my head. In fact there were many a seagull flying about it.
Have you taken a loan from a bank?. Did you pay payment protection insurance that you did not want or need or agree to, did you not bother to read the contract you moron?.
That awkward moment when you are scrolling through the on screen Sky TV guide and press select on a show. After about one minute you notice that something is not quite right.
It was reported today by BBC News on their website that a couple who were foster parents to some 'migrant European' children have had them taken away by the authorities.
And He said "Behold for I am God and I can fly in three languages although I am mute"..
When a chicken lays an egg, is it not wise to let it hatch and grow before eating it?..
During my trek through Amazonian lands I happened upon a fairly suspicious Plant. His name was Robert, I came to learn. "Robert what are you doing out here in this inhospitable land?" I asked.