It's All About Me

I was raised by a sheep hoarder in the Swiss alps. Yes, a sheep hoarder. You did read that correctly.
My mother was one of my parents and she raised me in the ways of a sheep herder.
You read that correctly too.

From a young age I was expected to herd sheep. Unfortunately in 1992, when I was but a boy, my parents died in a freak arm wrestling accident. I was whisked off to Jerusalem, the holy city of the Jews. I was sent to live with my uncle who happened to be a rabbi. His name was Jesus. It's was a bit unfortunate living with him. I mean, he had a South American name but lived in Europe. Very uncomfortable when jewish tourists from Brazil visited his church, thingy or whatever it's called.
At the age of manhood I went to Yugoslavia where I enrolled in the 'Collage of Interpretational Farming'.
If the sign maker had been educated it would have been a school.

I learned nothing really but it didn't matter. I moved to England. Home of the BBC and land of the Yorkshire pudding.
Yes, the yorkshires were very fat and stupid. I moved later on to a place called London where I now study everything. Including you.... from that CCTV camera outside your house. The one on the lamppost you ignore or have probably forgotten about.

Likes:
Music: Conrad Boris and his Orchestra of Cows.
Movies: The Sound Of Music
TV: Countryfile