glen
Ok go on this mans profile and tell him your dreams in his post 'my poetry'. Please inundate him with your dreams and lets see what he comes up with haha.
Part 1 Julie moved into her new house in the roughest part of town, where prostitutes work on every corner and there are drug dealers selling brown. The law doesn't operate round here, it's every man for himself, but Julie didn't really c…
I'm going back to 98, when this unfortunate event took place I'd been on a bit of a bender and was properly pissed out my face My friend was being evicted, his neighbour just had to complain A right miserable old git but I cannot remember h…
I've decided to become a pilot, it looks like so much fun I want to be like Maverick or the Iceman from Top Gun I've been training in my garden, I use my arms as wings I've even managed to get some air when I launched myself off swings I li…
Lets celebrate terrible cooking 'Er I think this chickens rare' Lets all rejoice at waiting for hours, and rejoice at having to pay Ladies and gentleman I give you, national women's day. Haha
Do you still think about me? Like I still do about you Are you truly happy? Are you seeing someone new? All those shared moments Now frozen, back in time I remember when I was yours And you was happily mine To young to get involved? I don…
I said something quite awful, something that wasn't very kind I went to the pub with my mate, who I hadn't seen in a while He brought some of his own mates along, it's only now that I can smile His friend was chatting up a women, who I thou…
I've never had any plants, I really don't see the point But for 99p at homebase, I probably shouldn't go there after a joint A tiny little cactus, was on display for all to see So I delved into the world of horticulture, I mean, how hard ca…
Oh I've been having so much fun Watching my Tottenham thrashing the scum 2 1 it finished but there could have been more Every time we attacked, we looked like we'd score Wenger had the hump, he screwed his face right up Now lets make that 8…
#sundayrepost I'm cheating because I saw eddies weekly challenge With two children going missing in the small village of Steeple Dale in the past year the villagers were very wary of any faces they didn't recognize in their town. The poli…
My sisters daughter has to write a poem called 'teachers stew' for school, so I said I'd help, this is our joint poem. (She is 7) Teacher told me off and left me feeling blue So I'm getting my revenge by making a teachers stew All the kid…
I'm building a submarine in my garden, I'm having so much fun I'm not going to paint it yellow, as I think that, that's been done I'm using raw materials, for the shell I've used my bath My friends think that I'm crazy, but I'm not doing th…
#acrostic / limerick A little tale about a man named Ted Met a girl named Rita who he got into bed On this occasion Under no persuasion Rita went down and gave head A little while later she said Me on top, or over the bed On this occasi…
'You can have that' I said 'its a gift' It gave me an idea to make some money My wife wasn't keen said 'you sure honey' She called me a loon With my red ballon But she had to admit it was funny The Whoopee cushion is my invention To make…
Fuck off winter I think we've all had enough I just want some sun, this weathers really rough Snow, rain and wind, it's freezing fucking cold I can't handle this weather, I think I'm getting old I want BBQ's with beer and sitting on the gr…
I've decided to become the pope, I'm sure I'll get voted in I think I'll change the world and make supporting Arsenal a sin Condoms for everyone, I think it's about time Now I've just got to figure out how to turn water into wine I'll get …
Part 3 of ? John had arrived in his battered old transit van with coat hanger antenna in a ploom of thick smoke that was even visible in the darkness. Ian watched him park in his next door neighbour's parking space and get out his van wi…
Part 2 of ? Important information... Our Sun still exists and will not burn out for millions of years. A cloud of cosmic dust has come into our orbit and temporarily blocked out the suns rays from reaching earth. We estimate this anoma…
Part 1 of ? 'Donut's is there nothing they can't do' was repeating over and over before Ian pushed down on the slice of cake, which doubled up as a snooze button on his novelty Simpsons alarm clock. Ian hated mornings, it normally took hi…
Betty's heart Flynn had won They soon had a son What better name to call him than Fin.....
Who's penis was very small and very thin His knob turned to spaghetti When he slept with Betty He didn't care, because he quite fancied Tim Tim was in love with Lynn But Lynn wasn't in love with him But he didn't fret And took what he…
I'm a ghost hunter, but I've never caught a ghost When they disappear that's what pisses me off the most I just want some credit, I get laughed at in the street But they wouldn't laugh if I caught one, yeah that would be sweet My equipment …
Valentines day is one big con, But of course you've all got to play along I pretend I like it, and I buy some flowers Got them from tesco and I had to queue for hours The day means absolutely nothing to me I'd rather stay in, as Spurs are …
Without thinking of the consequences, I opened the box real fast, grabbed all the remaining grenades and loaded my gun, all my men were dead and now I was the last. These bastards were hunting us and they were doing it for fun. Deep in th…
Glen's had a few to many, when he sees her at the bar, 30 stone of women, you could see her coming from afar, but when Glen's pissed, his standards seem to drop, just like on this occasion, forget her he would not. Glen.. Si there 'hic' …
Laying in my bed last night, I heard my stomach grumble I rushed towards the toilet, but on my way I took a tumble My cheeks filled with sick, then it just exploded on the floor I know I've said this many times, but I'm not drinking anymore…
My funeral was a dull affair, they put my ashes in a cup No one was more surprised than me, that instead of going down I went up I treated life without a care, I died like Elvis on the bog So here I am in heaven, face to face with a man nam…
Just finished reading the book. All animals are equal, but some are more equal than others It was written on the wall, it seems their no longer brothers An animal revolution, they took back the farm So no more animals could ever come to an…
At first if you don't succeed Bollocks to trying again Cheating is a gift from god Deny it of course 'amen' Eat whatever you like F**k whoever you choose Go through life without a care Helps if you drink some booze Ignore do goody wankers …
I'm so glad, I don't live in a tank I once ate a guy named Hank I bit off his head He's definitely dead And what I didn't eat sank I swam from Australia to Cuba I ate a guy doing scuba with his rubber wet suit And his tank to boot Then I s…
Of all my great ideas, this one is clearly the best An adventure of pure endurance, I'm putting my body to the test I've brought ten thousand balloons and I've got myself a spud gun I'm going to fly around the world, not for charity, but fo…
I'm a bit of a hit with the ladies, you could say I've got the tools You could be a hit too, if you follow my golden rules...... 1. Never compliment them, (it always goes straight to their head) 2. Don't open doors like a mug, (or you'l…
Harry you tit, what's that your smoking You'll fucking kill yourself and I ain't joking Piss off Glen, it's only a blunt Or are you just after some you stupid c**t Christ almighty Harry you dipped it in speed Rolled it in LSD paper and pack…
Part 5 Drake looked as mad as the people he was killing, a one man army with nothing but an old rusty pipe that he called Lucy Lou for company. Six foot five and soaked in blood, his long black hair was swinging in the air as he fought hi…
There's a werewolf in my garden, it's been trying to get in my door I've barricaded the windows and I'm cowering on the floor I've got a twelve bore shotgun, and a massive kitchen knife Its not going to be enough, to save me and the wife S…
I've come up with a new dinner, I must go back for more I hid my cocaine in a chicken, when the police knocked upon my door Whilst I was being searched upstairs, my wife was in the kitchen My wife didn't realize and she slow roasted the chi…
I'm going on an adventure, I don't know when I'll be back I'm traveling through the Amazon, although jungle skills I lack I'll survive by eating monkeys and fresh fruit from the trees People think its dangerous, but I think it'll be a breez…
#acrostic You might have to zoom out to see it properly.. 'Great scot batman, did you have to leave that there Other people have to use this loo, but you just don't seem to care' 'Oh it's just a Bat~turd Robin, I'm sure you've seen one bef…
True story So I start my new job on Monday, I always hate the first day They'll probably pair me with some idiot, who hasn't got nothing to say I'll be making lights for runways, I know, it sounds insane I'd better do a fantastic job, I do…
Glen once knew a man who was sad Nothing went right he was mad Cheer up mate Life can be great Here have this cup with a Teabag He took my cup and added water A knock on the door, it's his daughter Gotta play this right Could be my night…
#bestofopuss Probably my best poem, which is quite surprising as I remember being completely drunk when I wrote it. I'm an OCD burglar, I'd break in and clean your house But I won't leave nothing out of place and I'm as quiet as a mouse I …
Not my best, but my favorite. Every year Since the age of twelve Steven had done something on his birthday for his late parents. At thirteen he completed his first marathon, aged fourteen he completed his first parachute jump. From wing …
#acrostic~ish Searching for the one, I wanted the cream of the crop Only this time last week, I let my standards drop Under the mistletoe we kissed, she really was a minger Large Laura I called her, I really wished she was thinner My mates…
#acrostic~ish Cup of tea Bert? Barry made a brew Harry had a cup and Sally made two Andrew had a coffee, followed by a smoke Lenny had a tangerine that was washed down with a coke Larry had a latte and then he ate an apple Edward liked a n…
I'm the real Batman not that wimpy Bruce Wayne I dont fight baddies such as the Riddler, Joker or Bane I just sleep in my batcave hanging upside down Shitting on the floor whilst wearing my bat dressing gown Bats don't fight crime, they ha…
At number 1 in my street, lives a man who's lost the plot, He's 86 years old, I think his milk he has forgot, It's been piling up on his doorstep, there's 30 bottles all in all I remember when I was a kid and he'd always nick my ball Grum…
The Joker's had a makeover, he now looks super cool I preferred him with his purple suit, and how he used to act the fool Adam West was Batman, his acting was far from good But he was miles better than Robin, who's acting style was wood I l…
I'm a claustrophobic, agoraphobic, there's nothing I can do I'm too scared to go outside and I'm shit scared of my loo I don't like being confined, I get all claustrophobic I don't like spiders either, I'm borderline arachnophobic I have…
I've decided to do a sponsored swim, I'm going to swim the Pacific Everyone thinks its a bad idea, but I think it's terrific I've been in training for weeks, well I don't want to look a fool Ive just won my 100 meter badge, down at my local…
My first ever Opuss (I started with stories) On a cold rainy night in Hertfordshire heavily pregnant 'Carol Frost' climbed off her red leather sofa and waddled over to answer the door "Who could that be" she mused. It certainly wasn't to …
Glen's had a few to many, when he sees her at the bar, 30 stone of women, you could see her coming from afar, but when Glen's pissed, his standards seem to drop, just like on this occasion, forget her he would not. Glen.. Si there 'hic' …
I can remember my first time It was over in a flash It was something so amazing For very little cash I unwrapped her slowly As I was licking with my tongue I was only 14 years old Some might call that young I've done it many times since…
I'm a master criminal, they call me Mr Big If you ever cross me, your own grave I'll make you dig I live in a huge mansion and I've got a mountain of coke I'd like to say I'm fair, but don't take me for a joke That would be a mistake and wo…
I've decided to become farmer, I mean how hard can it be? I'll Just dig a couple of holes and throw in a load of seed So I've dug up all my garden and bought myself a goat I'll provide for my village and deliver milk on my float I'll have t…
I've got a guitar for my birthday, but I don't know how to play I hope it's as easy as my harmonica, I learned that in a day It looks so cool, with its Union Jack But when I play it, the sound is crap How long will it take for me to learn …
I've been a bit of an idiot, you see I believed the world would end I drew out all my life savings and sent a love letter to my girlfriends friend I quit my job in style and borrowed thousands from the bank I done a shit in my neighbour's g…
In his local boxing gym he trains, an old pro that's had his day, with many more losses than wins under his belt, there were bills he just couldn't pay. Ray Potter was a washed up fighter, a journeyman of the ring, always on the undercard,…
Zip and Zong were back in space, on there way to Apricot One, but all there lights had failed, as they got dangerously close to the sun. They had to take drastic action, to give the sun a wide berth, so they changed there course direction …
I'm getting ready to sail the world In my home made wooden boat I know the weather can get quite bad So I'll make sure to bring my coat I've used a couple of old wooden doors For the base for my boat Ive got some bed sheets for the sail No…
I think this Blindsilence is one of a kind He reposts weird things that he finds But his pictures a disgrace Come on show us your face His pink profile is sending me blind There's Stablish who likes an acrostic I done one once it was shit…
I've just been for a job interview, I put on my favorite suit A nice green little number, my mum said that I looked cute I got there nice and early, two hours to be precise The cleaner had to let me in, she gave me tea, which was nice It d…
I'm building an igloo in my garden, it's coming along quite nice Although we haven't had no snow, so I'm using my freezers ice So far I've managed to make one block and I've put it in its place My freezers making a right old racket, but I n…
A day in the life of Mrs Santa Claus, it's not what you might think You see Santa's a dirty bastard and he also likes a drink He can visit all your homes, in just one single night So try and imagine him in the bedroom, I tell you it's some …
True story I've had a little accident and I hope that you don't laugh I've burnt my arse quite badly, just by getting in the bath I put hot and cold water in and filled it to the top I got undressed and stood in it, it didn't feel that ho…
Sequel to Leelee's terrible 80's fascination. Lets talk about the 80's, the time that fashion forgot Big hair and shoulder pads and Duran Duran singing on a yacht Cliff Richard was in his element with a number one every year George Michae…
I'm a cockney geezer and I've got a cockney walk I bowl around my estate and talk in riddles when I talk 'Your havin a bubble mate' or 'I'm on the dog and bone' I've always got my staff with me and I'm always on my phone I'll stare at passi…
Zip and Zong were back in space, on there way back from the Sun, but they had to get their spaceship cleaned, before they returned to Nebular 1. So they put there engines on full blast and gave them all there worth, as they changed there c…
I like to wear women's clothes, they feel so good on my skin My boobs are just oranges and I call myself Lyn I put my knob between my legs so I look like a lady It's perfectly natural and it's not at all shady I've got false nails and I p…
Not 'if', but when I become prime minister, things are going to change This countries lost its identity, but this I plan to change I want to bring the Empire back, this countries become a bore So every man under 60, must now get ready for w…
I'm getting ready for the opuss party, I've got on my white shiny shoes I've dug out my brown chords with braces, now which shirt shall I choose? I've picked a nice little V neck number, that's shimmering 'electric blue' I'll put my chunky …
I didn't know Santa was stuck in my chimney, when I lit the fire below I never heard a peep from him, not so much as a Ho Ho Ho Even when he was burning and being roasted alive By the time I found him, there was nothing left to revive I wa…
Part 3 There's a lady who's far from shy It's the one and only beautiful Fly I can't help but stare At her sexy blond hair But she's out of my league, I sigh There's Richard Withey who writes at night He can drink until it gets light Ple…
Part 2 There's Gaz who's dad was a great soilder All the girls seem to cry on his shoulder His words do shine He's 39 But I thought he looked a lot older There's Poppy who's been gone for a while She's returned to make us all smile She'…
Part 1 I'll start at the top and that's Leelee He writes great poems for all to see I wanna stay mates So I won't mention his shapes? And we all know how much he likes his tea Then there's Eddie who I took out on a date As dates go it wa…
I'm in the middle of building a robot, it's a full life scale model of myself I've made it out of cardboard boxes and some wood that used to be my shelf I've covered it in bacon, to act as a kind of skin I didn't want to use a box for the h…
Zip and Zong were back in space, flying to Nebular 1, but there spaceship had a malfunction and they were dangerously close to the sun. Zip had to take action, they had to give the sun a wide berth, so they changed there course direction a…
I'm getting ready for the end of the world, I know it's coming soon I've got a shelter in my garden to protect me from this doom I've got water and baked beans, enough to last for years That reminds me I must go to the offey and stock up on…
I've got a slight problem, that I'm just unable to stop I fancy old grannies, weather you think that's right or not I love there wrinkly bodies and there fragile state of mind I'm not that aggressive in the bedroom but I wouldn't say I was …
Part 1 of 2 Julie was asleep in bed when she heard her window break, she rushed out of bed and grabbed her things including her favorite steak. Julie is a vampire hunter she's vaporized hundreds before, as she run downstairs she was face …
I've decided to build an extension, I'm going to build it myself I want to prove my family wrong, after I failed to put up a shelf Ive brought loads of shiny metal as I want it to look modern and new I'm having trouble on where to start as…
There's a big hungry lion named Ted Who got angry went he wasn't being fed He escaped from his cage And was full of rage But he got shot, so now Ted's dead There's a roofer I know called Ted He works with hammers tiles and lead He had t…
I'm a shit bus driver, I tend to get lost everyday I'll overcharge you if you get on, then I'll ask you the way I drink while I'm working and I'm always smoking drugs My boss calls you customers, but I like to call you mugs I don't care i…
(Try and say really fast) Here's a story about Mr Brown A juggling, fire eating, circus clown But his boss was riled Because he never smiled So they called the clown Mr Frown So Mr Brown is a clown who frowns A frowning clown called Br…
In no mans land they found each other, two solders far from their trench An Englishman and a German, amongst the body's and the stench Two enemies face to face, with their guns pointed at one another Private Frank had already lost his frie…
'We need to find an earth mother, to help us with our plight' 'Lets just fly down and abduct one with our scary big bright light' Tracy was leaving the pub with her five kids in tow All by different fathers of course, because Tracy's a hoe…
My names Glen and my girlfriend cut off my Knob It took her two weeks, it was a hell of a job I've had it sowed back now but I'm still in so much pain I hope she don't get the hump and then go and do it again It was a delicate operation I m…
I'm a shit fireman because I'm shit scared of fire My boss has got the hump and he calls me a liar I don't know what it is that makes me run from the flame If anyone dies, then I'm definitely to blame We drive to the fire with our sirens on…
I'm the real 007 not that wimpy James Bond I've got loads of fancy gadgets and I'm partial to a blond Yeah I've seen the film and I found it quite absurd For a start I prefer a beer, that's not shaken or stirred I drive an Aston Martin and …
Lets go back to my garden again and catch up with Bugs Leg Ted, he's that strange bug like creature who looks like he's got five arms and one leg. Ted was getting ready for a Halloween party with scary make up and false teeth, his best fri…
I could do with winning the lottery, things are getting tight, ill just do a couple of lines and hope I win tonight. I've done it since it started, I do the same numbers every time, In the hope I see six numbers, all lined up on my line I…
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I'll tell you the story it wasn't so great 'Hi you must be Eddie and I say your looking ace' 'I recognized you straight away with your big red pumpkin face' 'Oh hi you must be Glen your not what I expected' 'You said you was really handso…
I've taught my dog another glorious trick, he now cleans and tidy's my room He licks the sides nice and clean and he can also use a broom He's handy with a hoover and he knows how to make my bed He's the bestest dog in the world, it has jus…
This is Glen's guide to Halloween, it's served me well in the past Make sure you carry plenty of eggs and some fireworks for the blast Always egg people's windows and don't forget to empty their bin Let an air bomb off in their garden it so…
I've invented a martial art that's brand new I've decided to call it 'No Kan Du' I can do helicopter kicks Catch flies with chopsticks I can do all this far better than you I walk the streets like Kane from Kung Fu Beating criminals with…
I'm a pretend psychic, I'd pretend to read your palm I'd tell you what you want to hear its wrong but wheres the harm I pretend to see the spirits and pretend to see the dead I google your information then tell you your grandad's name was F…
A very short, short story. You become very self reliant living in the countryside as I've found out since I moved here. Well I say 'moved' let's just say it was necessary. I live in a small white brick cottage complete with thatched roof…
Five people in two years have been found murdered on the side of the B10 dual carriage way to Cheshum. It's made all the national papers and has been headline news, but still the killer hasn't been caught. Police believe they are looking …
Anticipated the crash but kept on drinking My body can take it my minds not thinking Pumped full of drugs and on the level It's time for that slow dance with the devil Everything's hazy the lights are blinding The musics pumping and the gi…
I'm going out on the pull tonight, I've got on my flower shirt I've slicked my hair to the side, now it's time to flirt I've got brown chords with braces, and a chunky silver chain I go out with my mate, who dresses exactly the same We both…
I've been living amongst you earthlings, since I landed here last year I've managed to fit right in since I discovered this thing called beer Im supposed to be watching and planning our invasion But I keep getting asked out to the pub and I…
I'm a bad ass nasty witch and I'd turn you into a bat Then I'd take your children and feed em till their fat I'd put them in my caldron with a square egg and leg of fish Then serve em up for dinner, it's my favorite, favorite dish I've got …
I'm the best at air guitar, Ive managed to learn every chord I often get it out, when I'm feeling quite bored I can play any song and my guitar don't make a sound You can have one too, its 100 pence below a pound You can take it anywhere wi…
I'm an OCD burglar, I'd break in and clean your house But I won't leave nothing out of place and I'm as quiet as a mouse I never seem to steel anything, I just put your CDs in order My worst nightmare is breaking into the house that's owned…
When asked why I did it I simply said 'I'm part man, part amazing' I help the police catch criminals and get cats down from the tree I rescued people from a crashed plane that had crash landed in the sea I won gold at the Olympics, in every…
I'm a wizard for hire, a kind of higher power I'd help you out, but I charge by the hour I've got no morals as long as you got the cash I'll sort your troubles out with a zap and a flash I don't have a beard or a baggy wizards robe I look a…
I'm a rapscallion, I'm a nasty piece of work I spend all my time running round chasing skirt I chat up all the women, especially if their fine Theres always one that's gonna fall for my line I cheat on my partner and con all my friends I j…
Let's go back to my garden again do you remember Ted? He's that strange bug like creature who looks like he's got five arms and one leg. Ted spends his time eating and sitting on his leaf, his best mates an ant, who goes by the name of Kei…
With this girl and one of her mate's I was on to a winner But first we had dinner This night was going to be great Now Ann and Pam were there names They told me they liked to play games I could tell when they spoke That this wasn't a joke…
I've taught my dog a glorious trick, I've trained him to drive my car He drives me to the pub and back, he's the cleverest dog by far He picks me up and drives me home, right back to my street He does all this for a little love, and the occ…
I'm a werewolf hunter, I'm actually one of a kind You see werewolf's don't exist so its a bit like the blind leading the blind I go out on a full moon with my silver knife and sack I spend a couple of hours looking then I normally just head…
I'm a ghost hunter, but I've never caught a ghost When they disappear that's what pisses me off the most I just want some credit, I get laughed at in the street But they wouldn't laugh if I caught one, yeah that would be sweet My equipment …
Let's go back to my garden again, just outside the door The red and blacks are fighting again, but this ain't no racial war The ants come marching two by two, on there way to fight Red and black hate each other, they want to end this tonigh…
He's always fighting Daleks and Cyber Men face to face But I think he's really lame, he looks like an absolute tit With his quiffy hair and clothes, but at least his sidekicks fit He goes round in a phone box yes I know that sounds funny I …
You don't here much about me, but I tell you I'm just as good I've got all the same powers, but I'm misunderstood I prefer to go shopping rather than fighting crime Or doing the hovering, because my fights against grime I don't bother climb…
I've been neglecting her a bit lately, I haven't been that nice I thought I'd get some flowers and take her out for drinks Then have a nice dinner topped off with 40 winks But something wasn't right when I opened my front door There we're c…
There's a werewolf in my garden, it's been trying to get in my door I've barricaded the windows and I'm cowering on the floor I've got a twelve bore shotgun, and a massive kitchen knife Its not going to be enough, to save me and the wife S…
My world is dark and full of chaos, a rocky surface with seven moons to light this vast planet. Strange creatures roam the plains, the hunters and the hunted. No beauty here, just cold black rock and dusty hills. The white mountain with …
There was bodies all around me, I was covered in the blood of my captain, the smell is what I remember the most, a horrible chemical stench. I could see the enemy silhouetted against the setting sun. I just lay there barley alive, all I c…
The flickering flames of the burning buildings lit up the street in a wash of yellow and orange. Drake turned round and had one last look at the prison that he never thought he would leave alive. A huge white washed building with a ten fo…
Let's go back to my garden again, in the middle there's a well Where Dave the kinky spider lives with his girlfriend Mel Mel is a giant fly, that got caught in Dave's sticky web Under normal circumstances, Mel would be good as dead But Dav…
I'm the real incredible hulk not that David Banner I get the hump so quickly and I've also got a stammer The slightest thing gets me angry even being low on cash I could go at any time Grrrrrrrr HULK SMASH I just can't control it I get in …
Flip was throwing and Flop was jumping they only stopped when it started raining. Flip could throw an ant as far as the eye could see Flop was a jumper he could almost clear the tree The bugs had come from far and wide just to watch the ga…
But Zong wasn't very bright, he never turned left at the Sun What with Zip pregnant and about to give alien birth They changed there course direction and headed for planet Earth We need someone to help us, earthlings are very bright We jus…
An ugly looking creature, looks like he's got 5 arms and one leg He spends his time eating and cleaning all his teeth His best mates an ant, who goes by the name of Keith Keith was not to be trusted, a devious little ant One day he preten…
'You can have that' I said 'its a gift' It gave me an idea to make some money My wife wasn't keen said 'you sure honey' She called me a loon With my red ballon But she had to admit it was funny The Whoopee cushion is my invention To make…
I'm so glad, I don't live in a tank I once ate a guy named Hank I bit off his head He's definitely dead And what I didn't eat sank I swam from Australia to Cuba I ate a guy doing scuba with his rubber wet suit And his tank to boot Then I s…
Glen once knew a man who was sad Nothing went right he was mad Cheer up mate Life can be great Here have this cup with a Teabag He took my cup and added water A knock on the door, it's his daughter Gotta play this right Could be my night…
For those who want to be number 1 This is a guide, it's just for fun It doesn't matter if your writings the best With no followers it won't pass the test You can tag everyone in your posts 'Hey read this give me some votes' Make friends wit…
Part 2 Two days since Graham had buried Thorn in the garden and things were not getting any easier. Hazel had shown absolutely no emotion when the dirt was shoveled on to the lifeless Thorn in the cold hard frosty ground on a winters morn…
Part 1 Hazel was always a little different from other kids. Graham and Sue were so proud when they brought her back from the hospital wrapped up in her little blanket with her little pink nose and tiny little hands and thick black hair. …
"Come on lazy bones get up or you'll be late for school". Karen said to her daughter Carly who was seven years old and still tucked up in bed with her teddy 'Sampson'. "Mum I think I've got tummy ache, I don't feel very well" she said with…
'Drakes Story' "Lights out on two" Drake settled into his bunk for the night and felt under the mattress. He was relieved to feel the cold steel pipe with the sharpened down edges was still there. He pulled it out and examined his handy …
This part is pretty lame, part 3 is much better. Two weeks after the bomb had wiped out London the virus had spread rapidly all over the country. Only about five percent of the population with the rare blood type AB seemed unaffected. P…
Part 1 The human body is an extremely fragile thing. A temperature above 70 degrees centigrade will produce serious burns in less than a second, shards of broken glass and metal traveling at speeds of up to 50 mph will penetrate and rip o…
Urban Legend "I spy with my little eye something beginning with R". Susan said in a bored monotone voice. "O what a tough one, let me take a wild stab in the dark here, is it road?". Susan and Sam had been driving for what seemed like h…
"Bed time now, come on you got school in the morning" Susan spoke with authority this time, so as not to be ignored again. "Oh mum can't I just stay up for half an hour please?. Jeff don't mind, do you Jeff?". Jeff looked up from the pa…
This is based on a true story. Told in my own way. "I cant believe I spent Christmas day in me shorts" Darren said as he breezed into the kitchen, switched the air conditioner on to full and poured a glass of orange from the fridge. Tina…
Every year Since the age of twelve Steven had done something on his birthday for his late parents. At thirteen he completed his first marathon, aged fourteen he completed his first parachute jump. From wing walking to scuba diving every y…
From the age of seven until I reached ten, every summer I used to go and stay with my aunt and uncle for two weeks in a little seaside village called Thorpeness on the south coast. I remember I used to look forward to it so much as they al…
Alan Brooks, the wizard of the deck, raised his game another level. "Come on John put your money where your mouth is" He urged vigorously "One more game double or quits, what do you say?". John had just lost nine games of Black Jack on …
With two children going missing in the small village of Steeple Dale in the past year the villagers were very wary of any faces they didn't recognize in their town. The police have been and done countless talks in schools warning the child…
On a cold rainy night in Hertfordshire heavily pregnant 'Carol Frost' climbed off her red leather sofa and waddled over to answer the door "Who could that be" she mused. It certainly wasn't to late for visitors at nine o'clock "Probably ne…