26 November 2012

I didn't know Santa was stuck in my chimney, when I lit the fire below

I never heard a peep from him, not so much as a Ho Ho Ho

Even when he was burning and being roasted alive

By the time I found him, there was nothing left to revive

I was the last on his list, December 24th 2011

So no ones getting any presents this year, because I think Santa's in heaven

This secret has been killing me, I hope the police will give me a pardon

I didn't mean to roast Santa alive, he's buried in my garden

But something's has been happening to me lately and it's getting rather weird

Despite shaving everyday, I've grown a massive white beard

I've always been in quite good shape, my stomachs always been flat

But when I woke up this morning, I'd gone from skinny to fat

All I ate was a burger that was washed down with a fanta

I think it's about time I admit to myself, I'm the new Santa

glenI'm Santa • Opuss № I