23 September 2012
I'm a wizard for hire, a kind of higher power
I'd help you out, but I charge by the hour
I've got no morals as long as you got the cash
I'll sort your troubles out with a zap and a flash
I don't have a beard or a baggy wizards robe
I look about 20 but I'm really very old
I could cast a spell to bring about world peace
Or I could turn you from skinny into morbidly obese
So if you need a wizard if there's someone you want to curse
Just give me a ring, but don't forget your purse
I cannot conjure money, so I have to work for coin
There is a wizards circle but I'm not going to join
Im a very lazy wizard, but I yield so much power
Even in the winter my gardens full of flower
I work for myself, I don't help no one for free
That's just the way I roll its all me, me, me
Don't get on my bad side, I lack in humanity
I'd just wave my wand and say 'welcome to insanity'.
Wizard's Sleeve • Opuss № I