27 December 2012
I've decided to become farmer, I mean how hard can it be? I'll Just dig a couple of holes and throw in a load of seed So I've dug up all my garden and bought myself a goat I'll provide for my village and deliver milk on my float I'll have to lovingly maintain it and pull out any weeds But I might get rid of the goat, because it's ate all my seeds So I've planted some more and I suppose I'll just sit back and wait I cannot wait for my harvest, this farming larks great.
Six months later
It's been a bit of a nightmare, you see I haven't grown a thing It turns out I planted in winter when I should of planted in spring I wasted thousands on a tractor, that won't fit in my garden And I've still got that fucking goat, the wife gave it a pardon So I've got a mud flat for a garden and a dirty scrawny goat I can't even deliver any milk, because some c**t's nicked me float.
Farmer Glen • Opuss № I